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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28554258">The Secret Bastard</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Mirror/pseuds/Twisted_Mirror'>Twisted_Mirror</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Regency, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bazine Netal Being a Jerk, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Brothels, Declarations Of Love, Drama &amp; Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Family Secrets, First Kiss, First Time, Happy Ending, Historical, Idiots in Love, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Loss of Virginity, Love, Love Confessions, Oral Sex, Prostitution, Regency, Regency Romance, Romance, Secrets, Sex, Slow Burn, True Love, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Yuletide, Yuletide Ball, governess, governess au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:26:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28554258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Mirror/pseuds/Twisted_Mirror</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey Johnson's father had recently died, leaving her alone in the world with no money and no prospects. She takes a job as Governess to the wealthy Hux family in the South of England. There she meets the families two brothers, brothers who could not be further from each other. Armitage Hux, friendly and charming, and Kylo, a rogue with a dangerous air and seductive eyes. Rey thinks she gets the youngest son completely and judges him quickly, despite an attraction she feels. Is everything as it appears at Arkanis Hall?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Armitage Hux/Bazine Netal, Armitage Hux/Rey, Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Bazine Netal/Ben Solo, Bazine Netal/Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren &amp; Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey &amp; Ben Solo, Rey &amp; Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. New Beginings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"><strong>Prologue</strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>London 1815</strong>
</p><p>    Rey shivered in the cold dim drawing room as the autumn light outside faded to a grey dreary dusk. It had not occurred to her to summon anybody to light a fire so she just sat staring at the space ahead of her watching the shadows creep slowly across the patterned wall. Her fair skin held a grey tinged pallor and her hazel eyes circled in amber stared ahead with her face wrinkled into a frown. She had dreaded this day more than any other but it had been over in a blur of black mourning wear, tea and solemn commiserations. Her father had been laid to rest that very morning in the parish church’s graveyard near their home in London. Few had been in attendance as they had no family and her father had fallen out of favour with most of his business associates, or rather had been abandoned by his ‘friends.’ She should have felt angry, angry at them, angry at her father and the situation that she had been left in but right now she felt nothing, only emptiness and an almost stifling numbness. Her closest friend Jyn, however, had stood by her during the day and provided much needed support, but now she too had left for home and Rey was left alone with her thoughts. Now the day was over she needed to focus her plans for a future that she had never thought she would suffer as what tomorrow would bring had never been so unsure. The door opened abruptly with a groan as the housekeeper Maz bustled in carrying a tea tray snapping her from her melancholy reverie. The housekeeper’s heart could have broken at the sight of her mistress sitting there in mourning, lost and alone.</p><p>“I’ve bought you some tea Ma’am,” she placed the rattling china down on the small table. “I know you don’t feel like it but you should try eating something too.”</p><p>The ancient, greying woman gestured to the small plate of sandwiches while her countenance was once etched with concern.</p><p>“Thank you Maz.”</p><p>The housekeeper poured the tea before passing the cup and saucer to Rey.</p><p>“I’ll send Clara up to sort the fire, you can’t sit in the cold.”</p><p>Rey nodded as she sipped the sweet tea with a faint smile at the older woman’s ministrations. Mrs Kanata had played a big part in her life after her mother had died, for Rey had only been twelve years old when consumption had taken her from them.</p><p>Rey had until the end of the month to settle her father’s affairs; she needed to sell the house, its contents, sell everything to pay off his debts. She had already let most of the serving staff go, just keeping Maz, the maid Clara and one of the grooms on. However, she would soon be saying goodbye to them too and her life was to change in every way imaginable.</p><p>“Have you heard from your sister?” she asked the housekeeper, trying not to dwell on the guilt she felt at all of the staff losing their positions.</p><p>“Yes, I am going to live with her once the house is sold; she has found a job for me in the big house where she lives. Apparently, their housekeeper is getting on in years and needs some help.”</p><p>The relief on Rey’s face was noticeable.</p><p>“Never mind me, I’ll be quite alright. Has the publisher accepted any more of your work?”</p><p>Rey nodded as she took another sip of her tea.</p><p>“Disgusting that you can’t take credit for your own work though.”</p><p>Rey smiled softly at Maz’s disgruntled words as she huffed and puffed.</p><p>“The editor just thought that it would sell more with a man’s name. You know how it is.”</p><p>Maz tutted in annoyance with her arms folded.</p><p>“I cannot live of my earnings from writing though.”</p><p>“What will you do?”</p><p>Rey sighed, pulling the woollen shawl tighter around her; she had already made plans and had written to a number of potential employers but had not yet told her friend.</p><p>“The only option I have open to me, I will need to become a governess.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Chapter One </strong> </span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Arkanis Hall</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> September 1815</strong>
</p><p>Armitage Hux, Earl of Yavin, strode down the hallway towards the family library at Arkanis as his footsteps echoed ominously through the drafty corridor where family portraits looked sternly down upon him. Anyone that spotted him would not have mistaken the mood that he was in as a cloud of displeasure seemed to emanate from him. He flung the ornate double doors open and was not in the least surprised at what he found.</p><p>“Brother,” his tone was calm but stern.</p><p>The young brunette maid draped over his younger brother jumped up flustered and red, her cheeks deepened to a ruddy shade of scarlet as she tried to smooth down her dishevelled uniform. Keeping his eyes on his brother he addressed the maid.</p><p>“Get back to your duties now.”</p><p>She curtsied swiftly and hurried out of the room keeping her eyes firmly down and avoiding all eye contact with her Master.</p><p>“Well Armitage, I would say good morning but you very kindly ruined it for me.”</p><p>The man in the chair sat languidly smiling wryly at the intrusion.</p><p>“How dare you behave in such a way!”</p><p>“Oh Lord I need some amusement down here,” he leant back and rested his boot clad feet upon the desk.</p><p>“Surely you of all people do not resent me that?”</p><p>“Kylo, show some respect, mother has just died!”</p><p>Armitage slammed his hands on to the desk. For a brief moment there was a flicker of something else in Kylo’s expression; pain even anger, but it was just that, a flicker and then it was gone. Armitage sighed as he straightened his stance rubbing his temple with one hand.</p><p>“You are the heir, not me. Nobody cares what I do,” said Kylo flicking his raven black hair from his eyes.</p><p>“You know that we care, but you cannot carry on like this, especially after what happened with Miss Tico.”</p><p>Kylo looked as though he might say something but thought better of it, merely raising his brows instead but Armitage chose to ignore it.</p><p>“Mother sent me to find you, the new governess arrives today and she wants...”</p><p>“Let me guess, me out of the way? Dearest Mama, she does not disappoint.”</p><p>He stretched lazily before getting up and sauntering from the room, his attitude one of nonchalance. Armitage sat down heavily in the high back leather chair placed near the fireplace, the chair his father had always sat in and placed his hands on the mahogany wood as though to steady himself. He had obviously been aware of his responsibilities growing up as the eldest son of an Earl but now more than ever with his father gone he felt the weight of his legacy pushing down upon him. The proverbial millstone hung heavily from his neck.</p><p>—</p><p>The coach had taken Rey as far as the village of Yavin where she had alighted with her modest amount of luggage. She had received instructions from her new employer Lady Hux that she was to meet her man servant at the Wheatsheaf Inn in the village. She would then make the remainder of the journey to Arkanis in her phaeton. Clutching her reticule with her trunk at her feet she looked anxiously around for the person who was to meet her, not that she knew who he was or what he would look like. She hoped that someone would catch her eye and make themselves known to her as she felt rather awkward standing there like a lost sheep. The village bustled with the activity of its residents as market stall holders packed away for the day and workers from the nearby mine headed to the Inn for a pint...or two following a hard day in the bowels of the earth. Their blackened figures trudged up the road like dusty phantoms with their eyes looking like glowing orbs against the coal. More than one of them gave Rey an appraising look as they passed her to their destination. She was road weary and hungry but still could not see anyone that she was likely to be meeting in all of the activity around her. With a sigh she shifted her weight on to her other foot and considered going into the Inn for refreshment while she waited as the smell of food spilt out on to the street. The boisterous noise from within and the recent looks from the men who entered swiftly changed her mind to the chagrin of her stomach. The sky became dark and somewhat gloomy causing Rey to pray that it would not rain when her worrisome thoughts were interrupted.</p><p>“Miss Johnson?”</p><p>An extremely tall, middle aged man with the bushiest whiskers and beard Rey had ever seen, in worn earthy coloured clothes with his hat in hand stood before her.</p><p>“You are Miss Johnson, the new governess for Arkanis?”</p><p>Rey held out her hand in greeting with a smile grateful that she was now found.</p><p>“Yes, yes I am, you must be Mr Bacca.”</p><p>He shook her hand enthusiastically with hands that Rey noted as feeling rough and warm and a smile broke out upon his weathered face that seemed friendly and open.</p><p>“We had best get you on your way,” he stated in a thick Cornish drawl as he bent down and hoisted her travelling trunk upon his back.</p><p>Rey protested but he was adamant that he could manage and between noticing he was a lot stronger than he looked and not wanting to offend his masculine sensibilities she said nothing.</p><p>The ride to Arkanis was a pleasant one despite the sullen weather and gloom filled clouds for Bacca proved to be a pleasant travelling companion and the rain held at bay. He chatted away quite happily and knew much about the land for he had been born and raised there like most of the population. He filled her in on the grand house, the staff, the grounds, the village and the family that she would now be working for. Rey had been employed as a governess to the daughter of Arkanis, Lady Amelia Hux who was eleven years old. Lord Hux had recently died leaving his eldest son and heir Armitage as the Earl of Arkanis.</p><p>‘So it will be a house of mourning,’ she thought as her sympathy naturally went out to them.</p><p>“What happened to the last governess Mr Bacca?”</p><p>His brow furrowed and his face clouded over slightly and he shifted in his seat as though uncomfortable.</p><p>“It’s not my place to say Miss, but there was some trouble with the family,” he mumbled keeping his gaze fixed on the road ahead.</p><p>“Is there something I should be aware of? Is Miss Amelia a difficult pupil?”</p><p>Bacca looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and Rey was not sure if he were weighing her up or his options.</p><p>“No, Miss Amelia is a spirited girl but she’ll give you no real trouble. Just know your place Miss, keep your head down, work hard, there’ll be no problems,” and with that he nodded his head firmly as though satisfied with his own answer.</p><p>Rey however was even more confused by his cryptic words but decided not to pursue it any further but knew that there was more to the story than the old man was saying.</p><p>Looking out at the countryside surrounding them she marvelled at its beauty for the moor was wild yet calming, harsh yet joyous in its freedom and made her feel a million miles away from the grey dirty streets of London. The road followed the coastline and eventually they were above the craggy cliffs and crashing waves of the sea as the white foam coated the rocks below. Rey took a deep breath of the sea air and could smell and taste the salt on the air. The sun had begun to sink low into the sky behind the grey clouds that moved across the landscape casting long shadows across the choppy waters.</p><p>“Not far now,” her companion commented.</p><p>They had reached a cross roads and Bacca guided the horse left down a slightly wider road than they had previously been travelling, the sea left behind them. The landscape grew slightly less wild and more tamed in nature as they approached the house, moorland turning into farmland.</p><p>Bacca took a turning on the right on to a long neat gravel path that wound up ahead of them through a tunnel of cedars. The grounds of Arkanis became more wooded as they approached the house with oak and elm lining the path as their leaves rustled in the cool breeze. Rey clutched her hands on her lap and played with the black fabric of her skirts. The house when she saw it for the first time was not as huge and imposing as she had feared, yes it was large and grand as befitting an Earl but it had a somewhat intimate feel. It was constructed with light stone and had a large rounded tower at the front of the building with double glass doors and seemed to be classically Elizabethan in style though it was apparent that the family had added to it over the years. The additions to the building gave it a slightly more gothic feel and Rey liked how it gave the house an almost organic feel with ivy climbing up around its walls. She could see through the neat hedges a glimpse of the gardens behind the house with the stables to the right of the home. As though in welcome to her arrival the early evening sun finally broke through the slate coloured clouds and cast a golden glow upon the house lifting her spirits and bolstering her reserve.</p><p>Bacca took her to the servant’s entrance and left her there with her trunk in the hands of Miss Holdo the housekeeper. She was a tall, slim, firm looking woman whom Rey placed in her fifties at first glance and could not help but notice that she seemed to be the opposite to her beloved Maz. Pushing away the negative thought she smiled in greeting.</p><p>“I expect you’re tired from all our travels and wish to wash the road off you. If you follow me I will show you to your room. “</p><p>Rey hurried after Miss Holdo who led the way through the kitchen that smelt of roasting meat and something sweet and creamy, staff hurrying around to the orders of the cook. Their echoing footsteps on the stone flagged floor were lost in the noise of the kitchen’s activities. Leaving the kitchen behind and entering the hallway through the servant’s door the noise fell away to an almost reverent silence. Family portraits looked down upon her with vague contempt and haughty expressions as they approached the main staircase which was wide and ornate and split into two on the first floor heading off to different sides of the house. They took the left on to the main gallery where she led them to a small side door that revealed a narrow wooden staircase in a circular room. It was long and twisting and opened out onto a small creaking hall that was much less grand than any of the rooms and hallways she had seen thus far and no less draughty.</p><p>“This is the West Tower; the servant’s quarters are in the eastern gable. I thought this would be a little quieter for you.”</p><p>Though appreciating the woman’s consideration, it hit home with her how her position is society now stood. Though not a servant due to her education and breeding she was also not of the family and was destined to exist in perpetual limbo between the two.</p><p>The housekeeper inserted a small brass key into the end doorway that lay in front of a curved window and pushed the door open. The old door creaked as it opened into a modestly sized room half the size of her bedroom in London, though Rey had to admit it was still larger than she had been expecting. The walls were painted cream with a small fireplace standing central to the room with a double wooden bed sat to the right of the fire. The bed linen was faded but looked clean and comfortable and had a grey comforter draped over the foot of the bed. Next to the bed stood a small wash stand with a jug and bowl perched on top and a small oval mirror hanging on the wall above it. Opposite the bed was an ancient looking wardrobe and matching dressing table with a crocheted doily and porcelain vase.</p><p>“I’ll have your trunk and some tea sent up to you so you can freshen up before you meet the family,” said Miss Holdo half way out of the door already.</p><p>“Thank you, you are very kind,” Rey replied, placing her reticule and bonnet on to the bed.</p><p>The door shut and Rey was left alone in her new home. She sat slowly upon the bed removing the dark grey pelisse she wore as a feeling of loneliness and self pity threatened to overwhelm her. She clutched the small silver locket that hung around her neck as though it were a lifeline.</p><p>—</p><p>After dinner which Rey had in her room upon a small tray, Miss Holdo came to introduce her to her new employers. She felt as though she were headed to the guillotine as she headed downstairs while the sharp eyes of the portraits watched her. As she walked down the grand staircase she had a feeling as though someone spied upon her and glancing up at the gallery she was startled to see the roguish and very handsome features of a man looking down at her between the gallery pillars. He was no man servant for he was dressed as a nobleman, a fashionable nobleman at that from his blue silken cravat and jewelled pin to his black hessian boots. His eyes bright and clear caught her gaze for they were brown, not an earthy brown but the deep warm of a burnished bronze and they were currently fixed on her. When he realised he had been caught out he did not recoil away in embarrassment as any well bred gentleman would do but the impudent individual merely winked at her and grinned, his smile haughty and mocking. She raised her one eyebrow incredulously and shot him a well practiced look of icy contempt for she had met his sort by the dozen in the assembly rooms of London, another arrogant wealthy Lord, entitled and spoilt. Acting as though he were not there and tilting her nose ever so slightly higher in to the air she continued on her way. It was only after she had left his sight she had a moment of panic envelop her, she had behaved as though she were back home in her old life, what if she had caused offence? It hit her then that she were no longer as free in her opinions and behaviours as she had once been.</p><p>Miss Holdo led her into a large drawing room rich in creams and gold and decorated with golden framed paintings of the estate accumulated by the various Earls over the years. The family sat in dark forest green chairs again gilt with gold around the fire turned outwards to face her. A tall gentleman was stood with his back to the fire and hands clasped behind him, his bearing poised and elegant. Rey felt him examine her as she entered the room and though his eyes were cold and grey she did not find them haughty or cruel. She instantly surmised him to be the eldest son, the newly made Master of Arkanis from his stance and bearing alone for he seemed to wear the mantle of Earl well.</p><p>“Miss Johnson My Lady,” Miss Holdo addressed the woman sitting nearest the fire.</p><p>The woman was dressed in a fine silk and lace black gown of the last century’s style with a lower waist than was fashionable and fuller skirt, completing the look with a matching feathered headpiece. She looked at Rey with a near contemptuous stare and her small eyes and thin drawn face gave the impression of one who wished ill upon a great many things and a great many people and had the look of someone who found little joy in their life. Rey quickly remembered herself and curtsied, although the way Lady Hux stared at her you would think she had not curtsied low enough.</p><p>“Come closer,” the grand Lady instructed with a clipped tone.</p><p>Rey edged forward trying not to let her uncertainty show though she felt as though she were a circus animal on display and the fire suddenly felt far too hot.</p><p>“How old are you?”</p><p>“Twenty six my Lady.”</p><p>The Earl still had not said anything but merely observed the exchange between the two women.</p><p>“You are here because your father lost his fortune and you are too old to get a husband are you not?”</p><p>Rey was taken aback by the woman’s bluntness and lack of delicacy and did not know what to say in reply. That is to say she knew exactly what she wanted to say but doubted that her stay would extend beyond the night if she did so she merely nodded. She felt the Earl to her side shift in his spot.</p><p>“I expect no airs and graces from you, you have been bought down and your position in the world is not what it once was, you must remember that.”</p><p>Rey bit her tongue and held the woman’s stare hoping that her eyes did not betray the extent of the anger that she felt. It was at this point that the Earl decided to intercede.</p><p>“What mama means to say I am sure Miss Johnson is welcome to Arkanis, I trust that everything is to your satisfaction, your room and such?" </p><p>Lady Hux huffed and shuffled in her seat as though a great inconvenience had been caused to her.</p><p>“Oh Armitage, I was merely reminding the girl of her place, especially after the last...”</p><p>The Earl cut his mother off before she could finish what she were about to say.</p><p>“Mama! I am sure we would not wish for Miss Johnson to think us unkind.”</p><p>The Lady said nothing but huffed again.</p><p>“Yes my Lord, everything is to my liking thank you.”</p><p>Rey addressed him for the first time finding that his eyes held a kindness in them that his mother’s lacked.</p><p>“You will meet Amelia tomorrow but your lessons with her will not start until Monday. I thought that you would appreciate a couple of days to settle in.”</p><p>“That is very kind of you.”</p><p>“Miss Johnson I would also like to take this opportunity to pass on our condolences at the loss of your father,” his voice was sincere and gentle and Rey was touched at the gesture.</p><p>“Thank you my Lord. I understand that you have suffered your own painful loss and I am sorry.”</p><p>He shifted his gaze to the ground clearing his throat.</p><p>“Ah yes well thank you. I am sure that you are weary from your travels, I will keep you no longer.”</p><p>Rey knew that she was being dismissed so curtsied once more and followed Miss Holdo out of the room.</p><p>“I would watch your step with her Ladyship, she’ll suffer no nonsense.”</p><p>“I intend to do my job and nothing more.”</p><p>Rey’s tone was a little harsher than she had meant for it to be.</p><p>“I meant well Miss Johnson; it was just a friendly warning," her tone instantly softening.</p><p>With that she marched off towards the kitchens as her sturdy shoes echoed across the wooden floor. Rey was left alone in the hallway relieved that the first meeting with the family was over despite Lady Hux’s apparent instant dislike of her. Sighing loudly she began to climb the stairs; all she wanted to do now was crawl into her bed in her little tower room and let the sweet oblivion of sleep take over.</p><p>“So you have met the dragon and survived?”</p><p>Rey looked up to meet the eyes of the man she had seen earlier leaning against the balustrade at the top of the stairs. She tried to be diplomatic and cautious in her response as after all he could be testing her.</p><p>“I have met the family.”</p><p>Now level with him she saw how tall and broad shouldered he was.</p><p>“Not all of them,” he flicked his black hair from his face. “Kylo Hux.”</p><p>He held out his hand politely.</p><p>“Rey Johnson,” she replied in kind and took his hand.</p><p>His hand felt as though it swamped her petite one and radiated warmth that went right through her.</p><p>“Pay no notice of my mother; she has always been the same joyous presence, all twenty eight years of my life at least.”</p><p>Rey could not help but smile and when she did, Kylo noticed that it made her eyes considerably brighter.</p><p>“She is certainly a strong character.”</p><p>Kylo snorted at the statement with amusement.</p><p>“If she was unkind pay no heed, it is her way of keeping control over things.”</p><p>He smiled reassuringly which made her notice how different to his brother in looks he was. Armitage was a slim build with high cheekbones and red straight hair, his face conventionally handsome, open and light. Kylo however, looked as though he spent a great deal of his time outdoors with more athletic pursuits, his aquiline nose and soft, waving ebony hair gave him a melancholic air. His dark eyes, deep and intense held a dangerous air, reflecting the candlelight.</p><p>“Well I do hope that you will be an entertaining diversion around here Miss Johnson."</p><p>Rey's face hardened slightly at the flirtatious tone of his words.</p><p>“I do not know how entertaining I will be as my time will be spent preparing lessons and teaching arithmetic. I am afraid I will be a disappointment.”</p><p>“What a pity.”</p><p>He held her gaze as his thin lips curved into a sly smile as though he knew something that she did not. She grew indignant inside and angry as his sort always tried to make the feminine sex feel flustered and expected them to swoon all over them, especially someone with his social standing.</p><p>“Well if you will excuse me my Lord, I am very tired and must retire.”</p><p>He noticed that her tone had hardened and her mouth was pursed together with frown lines forming before she curtsied briskly and took her leave as he bowed formally. He did not move from his spot but watched her march away as her dark dreary gown swished around her feet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Yuletide Ball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey starts to settle in to her new role as Governess as Arkanis Hall though the shadows of loneliness creep in. She begins to feel as though she has a friend in her new Master but finds the younger son, Kylo, a puzzle to her.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey found her new pupil a lively and inquisitive child but rather more inclined to climb trees than sit demurely and do needle point. Miss Amelia had spelled this out to Rey in no uncertain terms upon which she had been forced to stifle a giggle. Thereupon the two had reached a compromise when Rey had promised that her studies would involve plenty of outdoor activities and exercise which seemed to placate the girl. On their first day together Rey had suggested that they go for a walk outside so that Amelia could show her new governess the grounds and gardens, her pupil had jumped at the chance as Rey had rather suspected that she would. She managed to convince her to put on a coat but she point blank refused to wear a bonnet and Rey had to practically chase after her outside such was the girl’s enthusiasm. Despite it being October the day was relatively mild albeit a little blustery but the sun was shining and with her youthful companion her spirits were lifted.</p><p>Amelia at first took her through to the formal gardens which were clearly not her favourite part as she practically raced Rey through them. High privet hedges that were neat and trimmed within an inch of their life framed neat gravel pathways, stone statues of beautiful maidens in flowing gowns of stone peppered their surroundings. They were very pretty but structured and had been installed in the early part of the previous century by the Earl of the time who wanted to showcase his wealth and position.</p><p>“This is the hot house,” Amelia pointed out as the path that they were walking along near the rear of the house wound past a large glass building.</p><p>Its frame was wrought iron and freshly painted white and housed and abundance of green that could be seen within along with its blooming floral occupants.</p><p>“I hate it in there,” she sulked.</p><p>“That is because you always interrupt something of Mitaka's when you do venture in there and are veritably scolded. “</p><p>Rey started at the smooth velvet like voice behind them, Armitage. She turned around and curtsied whereas Amelia just rolled her eyes at her older brother.</p><p>“My Lord.”</p><p>He tipped his hat in greeting.</p><p>“Miss Johnson.”</p><p>“Amelia was just showing me around the grounds and gardens.”</p><p>Amelia had walked off and was currently chatting to one of the gardeners and debating with him as to what was a weed and what was not. As he looked over at his sister, his eyes crinkled as he smiled at her indulgently.</p><p>“She is very much like my father.”</p><p>“I met your brother last night," she looked at him sideways to gauge his reaction.</p><p>“Ah yes, Kylo, I trust he behaved appropriately?”</p><p>“Yes he just introduced himself,” she decided not to tell him his exact words, especially as she detected a hint of tension.</p><p>Armitage nodded and did not say anything, biting the inside of his mouth distractedly.</p><p>“Forgive me, I only ask as he is...well never mind. I am surprised Amelia has not shown you the summer house yet.”</p><p>Rey was surprised at the sudden change of topic but did not comment. Amelia’s ears however had perked up at the mention of the summer house.</p><p>“Actually we were going there next,” she retorted, tossing her strawberry blonde curls from her face.</p><p>“I will walk with you,” he gestured for them to continue as Amelia raced ahead.</p><p>He led them on the path that left the gardens and opened on to the more rural grounds and open meadows. The path became a sandy one and ran alongside a gentle stream that flowed through the estate; the clear waters flowing over the smooth pebbles. The path itself was lined with trees and grew denser as they continued; a beautiful estate surrounded by beautiful country.</p><p>“Are you well Miss Johnson?”</p><p>Rey came out of her reflective reverie, her complexion a little paler than it had been.</p><p>“Forgive me, I was thinking of my father.”</p><p>“I empathise with you Miss Johnson; I too know how that can feel.”</p><p>“Forgive me of course you do.”</p><p>Both fell into silence and continued walking. Amelia had disappeared into the distance but the Earl did not seem too concerned.</p><p>“Please tell me if I am being impertinent but what exactly happened with your father?”</p><p>Rey was surprised at the question but did not read anything cruel or insensitive behind his words, his voice seemed genuine. She had always believed herself to be an accurate judge of character so she told him everything and surprised herself at how easy the words came, realising just how much she had needed to get off her chest. He did not comment or judge but listened, his expression warm and sincere.</p><p>“You have been through a lot Miss Johnson, I commend you.”</p><p>He noticed her puzzled expression at his comment.</p><p>“I have merely done what I must.”</p><p>“Yet that has shown remarkable strength and courage. I am not sure that I would have been able to do the same had I been in your shoes.”</p><p>“No one knows what they can do until they are tested.”</p><p>“Very philosophical Miss Johnson but very true.”</p><p>The summer house sat upon a shallow mound on the grounds and was surrounded by a cluster of weeping willows that dipped their leafy tendrils into the cold waters of the stream. The stream itself ran around the house, joining a lake behind the building. To Rey it looked as though it belonged to a different world entirely to the house and she could see why Amelia liked here so much. Amelia was already there, skimming stones across the lake as the ripples reflected the late morning sun.</p><p>“Oh, it’s beautiful here.”</p><p>Her whole face lit up from within causing Armitage to smile and for a moment Rey forgot who and where she was.</p><p>“Well I will leave you now, for I am to ride into town for a meeting with one of our tenant farmers. Thank you for the delightful walk Miss Johnson, I will leave you in the capable hands of my sister.”</p><p>He bowed formally and took his leave from her. Rey in turn was surprised that the Earl had spent so much time with her as normally someone in his position would not demean himself in the company of someone as lowly as her. He had been so kind and considerate and had made an effort to make her feel welcome, listening patiently as she shared her troubles. Rey was no fool however and did not read into it more than she should, but to know she had a friend at Arkanis made her feel a little less alone.</p><p>Amelia was still preoccupied so she decided to explore the summer house by herself. The house was made of white stone and looked more like a hunting lodge. Most summer houses or follies were usually just decorative but this one was a little different. Pushing open the blue painted door she was surprised to find a much different environment than the house, in fact it felt the opposite. A small fire crackled in the hearth at the rear of the room with two tall leather armchairs resting in front of it. All along the left hand side wall were bookshelves and books upon books. Brown suede chaise lounge were placed in front of the shelves and were covered in coloured shawls cushions and knitted blankets. Woven rugs covered the wooden boarded floor and potted plants were dotted around the room with no signs of the gold decor from inside the main house. On the right hand wall guns and pistols were mounted up some older than others. The room smelt of wood smoke, leather and tobacco and felt relaxed and full of life. She sauntered over to the books running her fingers along the well worn spines and was pleasantly surprised at the assortment that she found there. She had expected to find mostly books on hunting and politics but found many novels and collections of poetry.</p><p>She pulled a copy of Ivanhoe from the shelf and flicked through its pages, stroking the cover softly and breathing in the scent of the book. So lost in her thoughts and comfort at her surroundings was she that the deep voice from behind her quite startled her.</p><p>“I see that you have found my favourite hiding place.”</p><p>She gasped and dropped the book whirling around to find Kylo watching her from one of the armchairs by the fire.</p><p>“Forgive me, I did not mean to startle you.”</p><p>He rose from his chair and walked over to her, his eyes dancing with amusement.</p><p>“It seemed a shame to interrupt you but I felt that the longer I stayed hidden the more awkward it would be.”</p><p>He leant down and picked up the book passing it to a now composed Rey.</p><p>“I apologise Sir, I did not mean to interrupt your peace and solitude.”</p><p>“It is quite alright Miss Johnson, for you I will make an exception," his voice dipped low and soft as he leaned in closer.</p><p>His eyes crinkled as he smiled down upon her and it seemed to Rey that suddenly that he was very close to her, swamping her senses. She put the book back in its place upon the shelf and took a step away as though to browse the other titles deciding not to respond to his comment. She grew annoyed at herself and how her body responded to him being so close. </p><p>“How come there are so many books out here when you have such an extensive library in the house?”</p><p>Kylo leant against the wooden shelves and could not help but appraise her while her back was turned. She was not the peaches and cream beauty that high society prized but he found something about her extremely attractive despite the dreary style of her dark gown and severe hair style. She was average in stature but the prim gown could not hide the tight curves of her figure. He suddenly became aware that he was staring at her and cleared his throat, quickly looking away before she spotted him.</p><p>“My parent’s marriage was one of convenience, an arranged marriage and this was my father’s retreat.”</p><p>He did not give her the full details as what he did not say could be plainly understood.</p><p>“Ah I see.”</p><p>“Besides there are some more shall we say shocking volumes here that my mother would not allow in the house.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Kylo laughed and Rey could not tell if he was serious or merely jesting with her.</p><p>“This place though has become a bit of a refuge for Amelia and myself.”</p><p>“Not your brother also?” she asked.</p><p>“Not so much Miss Johnson, I do believe it is a little chaotic for him.”</p><p>“I like it here, it is peaceful.”</p><p>She looked almost wistfully out through the window at the lake beyond.</p><p>“You are most welcome to shelter here whenever you like, that is when you are not preparing lessons or teaching arithmetic or French.”</p><p>He gave her a half smile, his eyes deep and intense and for a moment she held his gaze, feeling her cheeks begin to grow warm.</p><p>“Kylo there you are!”</p><p>Amelia burst through the door rosy cheeked and smiling.</p><p>“Hello Mel.”</p><p>She ran over and flung her arms around her brother as he enveloped her in a warm embrace in his strong muscular arms.</p><p>“When can I go shooting again? It’s been an absolute age!”</p><p>“Shooting?” Rey was not sure she had heard correctly.</p><p>Kylo shot Amelia a look of warning and exasperation.</p><p>“Mel, you’ll shock poor Miss Johnson," he laughed, though it was a little stilted.</p><p>Rey looked at him, stern faced for some kind of explanation.</p><p>“Father took her out on the odd occasion to teach her how to shoot and I have carried on with it.”</p><p>Amelia whirled around to face Rey with entreating eyes and a pleading look.</p><p>“Please do not tell mother Miss Johnson, she would have a fit of spasms if she knew.”</p><p>Rey pretended to deliberate for a moment as though it were a weighty decision causing Kylo to chuckle deeply in his throat at Amelia’s face.</p><p>“If it does not interfere with our lessons your secret is safe with me.”</p><p>Rey was surprised when Amelia ran over and hugged her, nearly knocking her from her feet.</p><p>“Thank you so much,” and with that ran back outside.</p><p>Rey noticed a change in Kylo’s countenance for he looked sad, his eyes glistening.</p><p>“She hides her sadness well Miss Johnson but her grief for her father is great indeed, they were very close. I only stay here for her.”</p><p>Rey was not entirely sure what he meant by that statement but thought it would be inappropriate to pry so the silence between them grew heavy. She began to feel Kylo’s gaze upon her not shifting until he broke it by looking away.</p><p>“You are welcome to come here as often as you like as I said, you too may need a retreat.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>He stood straighter as a sly smile slowly spread across his face and the melancholy mood that had taken him seemed to have gone again, evaporating away.</p><p>“Maybe I will have you alone in here again.”</p><p>His tone had been full of suggestion, heated and heavy, causing her pulse to quicken ever so and to her annoyance she felt herself looking at his lips, moist and full. He let his eyes drop from her face for just a split second, it was barely a glance but she noticed and grew indignant.</p><p>“My Lord, as much as I appreciate your kindness in welcoming me to Arkanis I am not here to be flirted with and made fun of. You may have done that with the previous governess but you will not do that with me. Now I bid you good day as I need to get Amelia back to the house for luncheon.”</p><p>She was one step away from stamping her foot in temper so curtsied abruptly and marched out of the room closing the door loudly and firmly behind her. Kylo was slightly taken aback at her sudden temper and harsh words; clearly he had touched a nerve. However he could not blame her, he had been an ass and he knew it.</p><p>As Rey marched away blood boiling, and somewhat flustered. She asked herself why it had bothered her so much. Maybe it was the attitude that his sort always had; maybe it was the fact that if anyone had witnessed or heard anything that could be misconstrued it could cost her position. She had begun to suspect that it was likely that he was the reason her predecessor had gone. Though had she gone of her own accord, or had she been dismissed? She decided to broach the subject with Amelia.</p><p>“Did you get on with your last governess?”</p><p>Amelia looked at her with a sideways glance; suspicious and weary, as though she had been waiting for this question.</p><p>“Yes, she was companionable enough, a bit too enthusiastic about etiquette if you ask me. She never scolded me though.”</p><p>Rey knew that she would have to dig a little deeper for Amelia was not giving much away.</p><p>“Did she leave for a new job?”</p><p>Amelia did not answer straight away and Rey could see that she was contemplating as to what her answer should be. So she did know something.</p><p>“She got into some trouble,” she said carefully, picking leaves off the privet as they got nearer the house. “They would not tell me what, said I was just a child. I know that Armitage and Kylo argued a lot...I heard them shouting.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Yes, I didn’t understand a lot of it, but they shouted about blame and responsibilities. Mother took to her room for simply ages.”</p><p>Rey wondered if she understood more than she had let on but did not want to push her too much. She wished that she knew what had transpired but had a feeling that Kylo was a part of it for better or worse. She knew what he was, a rogue and a rake, selfish and only out to serve himself. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Arkanis Hall</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>October</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The next few weeks passed and Rey began to grow accustomed to her new life and routine in service at Arkanis. Amelia was a spirited, intelligent girl and the two soon struck up a friendship. She did well at her lessons and found that she enjoyed teaching her. Amelia had a natural aptitude for languages and sketching but she utterly despised arithmetic and would complain about it often. She also deplored any of the more ladylike activities that Rey tried to encourage.</p><p>“If Mother is to have her way and I’m just going to be married off, why on earth would I need algebra?”</p><p>“Wherever your future takes you a balanced education will serve you in good stead.”</p><p>Rey felt exceedingly droll when she tried to reply as sagely as possible with words of wisdom. She remembered her own governess saying something similar and groaned inwardly.</p><p>“I do not think a husband should care too much whether I can do sums or not, not the kind of husband mother would want for me in any case.”</p><p>Knowing Lady Hux, Rey could not really argue with her there.</p><p>Mornings were spent in the school room where Rey would always start with arithmetic, the idea being to get it out of the way first. They would then move on to literature and writing followed by a simple luncheon that was always bought up to the school room. They would then move on to painting, watercolours and the pianoforte in the afternoon, which she alternated with French and sewing. On days where Amelia was particularly restless, Rey would take them outside for their lessons. Many a pleasant afternoon was spent sketching outside wrapped in their shawls.</p><p>Rey regularly kept up her correspondence with Jyn, updating he with the daily routine and her humorous observations of the staff.</p><p>
  <em>‘I do believe Miss Holdo would give my dear Maz a run for her money in the running of a household. She is very efficient, takes no nonsense and I have seen many a housemaid quiver in their petticoats when something is not quite to her standards. She is a kind hearted woman though despite the army General exterior.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I must go dear friend, I have just spied Amelia trying to creep through the school room covered in soil. Alas I doubt she will ever be the prim young miss her mother would wish, though I think I rather like her all the more for it. Please write soon and fill me in on all of your news from town. I look forward to your anecdotes; they entertain me on my quiet evenings alone. I can pretend I’m there with you listening to your chatter.’</em>
</p><p>Jyn wished that there was more that she could do for her friend but also knew that Rey was prideful and stubborn, she would not accept pity. She also noticed that Rey did not talk much of her employers in her letters and guessed that she must not have much in the way to do with them. She was curious however and made a note to ask her mother if Rey could stay with them at Christmas if she could be spared.</p><p>The weeks passed and winter began to creep in slowly, changing the landscape around them, and although Rey was not unhappy, she grew lonely. Lady Hux had nothing to do with her aside from the odd enquiry regarding Amelia’s education and progress, and Kylo had gone to town. Though she were fond of Amelia, she longed for the company of an other adult. She missed the days that she would meet her friends for shopping trips and the latest gossip around town, activities that she had not always considered as privilege. She was not of the family, and yet did not fit in with the service staff and was treated as such. Although nobody was ever unkind, she existed in a state of social limbo, the curse of the governess. She thought she may have possibly gone mad had it not been for Armitage, for he would talk with her often, as an equal. He never moved into impropriety but would always ask how she fared, how her time with Amelia was progressing and on more than one occasion he had walked in the gardens with her. He did not get under her skin like Kylo, his company was safe and comfortable and did not leave her feeling rattled. </p><p>The month leading up the Estate’s annual Yuletide Ball the house began to become a place of pandemonium as the servants began preparing for the event. Miss Cartwright, the head cook had ordered so much food so as not to be out done by the great house over at Chandrila that the larders were bursting.</p><p>As the ball grew closer and the chaos intensified as Lady Hux’s whirlwinds around the house increased, Rey retreated to the Summer House to write. She was unlikely to be disturbed there, especially this time of year so she curled up on the sofa wrapped in a blanket, quill in hand and lost herself in her writing. So lost was she that the creak of the door as Armitage entered the room made her jump. She sat upright from her recumbent position.</p><p>“My Lord.”</p><p>“Do not get up Rey.”</p><p>He gestured to her asking if he could sit next to her. She nodded, becoming very aware of the ink over her fingers and how messy she must look.</p><p>“Yes of course.”</p><p>She vaguely noticed how the dark blue of his overcoat matched his eyes as he sat down.</p><p>“I wish to ask you something.”</p><p>She looked at him quizzically.</p><p>“I wonder if you will attend the ball with us.”</p><p>She felt a tight knot form in her stomach, nervous and not entirely sure why.</p><p>“Would that be...appropriate?”</p><p>Her forehead was lined with worry, her hazel eyes serious.</p><p>“Of course, you are a member of the household and in truth it would be more noticeable if you were not in attendance.”</p><p>“Will your mother approve?” she queried a little apprehensively.</p><p>“She will be when I have spoken to her.”</p><p>That did not reassure Rey and she could just imagine Lady Hux’s cold thin face when she knew. She barely registered her existence at all and made it plain that she did not like her.</p><p>“Please, it is the least I can do to thank you for all you have done for Amelia. She obviously likes you and has been far less unhappy here since your arrival, and that makes me happy.”</p><p>As he spoke he reached his hand over and patted her forearm, at his touch her breath caught for a moment. Suddenly their situation seemed very intimate and he made her feel nervous though she could not place why. As their eyes met he remembered himself and removed it.</p><p>“Very well,” she laughed, a little more nervously than she would have liked. “You have convinced me, I shall accept your invitation my Lord.”</p><p>Again their gaze met and Rey felt as though he were examining her, she did not know if she liked it.</p><p>“Oh, am I interrupting a secret rendezvous?”</p><p>Rey jumped guiltily, the spell broken as Kylo sauntered into the room; his tall broad frame filling the doorway. Rey could swear that he looked angry, his eyes a storm of shadows.</p><p>“Kylo, you're back,” Armitage greeted his brother as he rose from his seat next to her. “I was just extending an invitation to Miss Johnson to the Yuletide Ball.”</p><p>A curious expression that Rey could not read, but looked almost predatory, flickered over Kylo’s face for just a moment, before his cocky grin was back in place. .</p><p>“Oh, mother will love that.”</p><p>“Mama has to learn that she is not in charge.”</p><p>Armitage’s face had become stony and rigid; it was clearly an issue of contempt with him. As Rey watched the brother’s exchange, she felt as though something else was at work here, something that she did not understand.</p><p>“Well I must bid you good afternoon Johnson.”</p><p>Armitage bowed abruptly and without a word to his brother and a brush of their shoulders he left.</p><p>“Well, alone at last.”</p><p>Kylo winked at her as he moved towards her, his expression wolf like, his look full of intent. He was dangerous, like a powder keg next to a naked flame. </p><p>“Must you really?” Rey huffed as she hastily sat back down.</p><p>“Apologies Miss Johnson, I had hoped that you had missed me. I forgot that you dislike me so much.“</p><p>That apparently was not sufficient enough to stop him sitting next to her; she said nothing and picked her quill back up, dipping it into the ink on the table next to her. The nib began to move across the paper, the scratching sound filling the silence between them.</p><p>“You writing a letter?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>She did not look up from her writing and did not offer any further information. He sat for a few moments, jiggling his leg and tapping his finger on the chair watching her. She ignored him and carried on writing, only stopping to refill her ink. It was becoming increasingly obvious that she was not going to share with him what she was doing. He stood up, walked over to the shelve and picked a book to read. Sitting back down next to her, he opened the book and began to read.</p><p>Both were silent, the air between them thrumming, alive with something that she did not understand; both pretending to be engrossed with their individual tasks. Rey broke first.</p><p>“What are you reading?” she asked, looking over.</p><p>He tried to contain the smirk he felt creeping across his face. Not saying anything or looking at her, he flashed her the title and carried on pretending to read.</p><p>“The History of Tom Jones,” she read aloud. “Ah the hero who has a good heart but is fundamentally flawed.”</p><p>“Do you believe heroes can be flawed Miss Johnson?” he asked, head still down.</p><p>Rey placed her quill down and looked at her companion properly for the first time since he had sat next to her. She had expected him to be teasing her but she could find no trace of irony or sarcasm in his expression, as though his cocky mask had dropped.</p><p>“I believe so, for whom of us is perfect?”</p><p>“Very true,” he leaned back into the chair crossing his legs. “So, does that mean that bad people are not wholly bad?”</p><p>Rey tried to study him but could not read what he was thinking or what mood he was in, everything else was buried. He puzzled her, but she found increasingly that she wanted to work him out.</p><p>“You’re very thoughtful today.”</p><p>He returned her look and merely shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“Possibly,” he grinned but she could detect a trace of sadness behind the expression.</p><p>“Miss Johnson, can I ask you a question, though you may tell me that I am being impertinent if you so believe it.”</p><p>Something in his eyes made her want to know what the question was, seeing a soft vulnerability there that she hadn't before. He seemed to have dropped the flirtatious act, and by all intents and purposes was in a sincere mood.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Did your parents love each other?”</p><p>Rey was momentarily taken aback at the question, it was not one often asked, especially in the society of the nobility. Love and marriage were not something that often went hand in hand, love being a disposable commodity, unlike a title, income, property and connections. She did not however, have to think too long over her answer, it was not difficult.</p><p>“Yes, yes they did,” she smiled fondly at the memories that surfaced, Kylo noticing a peaceful calm wash over her. “They married when they were very young, it was a love match, father was penniless at the time.”</p><p>“Your mother?” he asked, enjoying the sight of her remembering happier times.</p><p>“My mother was actually from a wealthy family; she was expected to marry far better than my father. He was after all just a clerk at an accounting firm.”</p><p>“She must have loved your father very much,” he replied, a feeling akin to jealousy over her parent’s marital state resided within him.</p><p>Rey took the locket that she wore, in her hands, opening it. Leaning towards Kylo she angled the locket so that he could see the contents within. He leant closer to her and found two miniatures inside of a man and a woman. The woman was young and beautiful, dark brunette hair and Rey's eyes, delicate features and an open expression. Her father looked a little older, fairer hair and fluffy whiskers.</p><p>“Your parents?” he asked as held the pendant a little closer to peer at the faces within, trying to ignore the fact that their fingers brushed.</p><p>“Yes, my mother had hers commissioned when she was coming out,” she explained.</p><p>“She was very beautiful.”</p><p>He did not add that he thought Rey looked remarkably like her, from the creamy skin down to the tendrils of her hair.</p><p>“Yes, she was. My father always joked that she could have married a King but ended up with a pauper.”</p><p>She laughed as she closed the locket, pulling away from him once more.</p><p>“I am sure that your mother did not agree.”</p><p>“No, she was very strong willed and adamant in her choice.”</p><p>“She must have been, to make such a decision, to go against her family.”</p><p>“Yes, she defied her father and so after they wed, her family cut her off; I was born not much longer after that.”</p><p>She paused, looking at him as the weight of what she had said sunk in.</p><p>“Ah I see.”</p><p>“A lady should probably not mention such things, but here we are.”</p><p>He smiled at her candour and honesty, finding it refreshing. He could not help feel a small amount of satisfaction that she had shared that personal fact with him.</p><p>“They never had any more children?”</p><p>Rey shook her head slowly, eyes downcast as her fingers toyed with the fringes of the blanket that was still draped across her.</p><p>“No, sadly not. I know that I had a little brother once, Jacen. I don’t remember him though. He did not live beyond his first few months.”</p><p>“I am sorry.”</p><p>“We three always had each other though and we were happy. When I was very young, my father’s employer whom he had worked for, for years passed away and left my father his business. He did well with the venture and became a wealthy man, much to the chagrin of my mother’s family.”</p><p>“They never reconciled?”</p><p>“No, my Grandfather was a stubborn old goat from what I was told,” Rey laughed, her eyes twinkling until a wave of sadness hit her again, sadness at the reminder of how alone in the world she now was.</p><p>Kylo noticed the sudden shift in her demeanour and could only guess the path that her thoughts had suddenly taken.</p><p>“Tell me more about your mother,” he said, changing the subject back to one that seemed to bring her a small sliver of joy, wanting to see her face light up again.</p><p>So Rey did, talking of many happy memories she had of her mother and father, memories made even happier seen through the golden lense of childhood. Neither of them noticed how much time had passed in each other’s company as Rey relived her earlier life and Kylo dreamt of what could have been for his own family.</p><p>−</p><p>
  <strong>December</strong>
</p><p>Rey paced the floor nervously in her room wondering at the ridiculousness of the situation. She had attended dozens of balls since her coming out season and had mingled with members of the ton, so why was she so nervous for this ball? She knew why of course, she was no longer wealthy, no longer had her tonnish friends to surround her, had none of her fineries and the confidence that had given her. She was stripped back to Rey, just Rey. Something else made her nervous, though she could not fully articulate it, and it surrounded Armitage and Kylo.</p><p>She had kept back two of her more refined though modest gowns when she had sold up, not having the heart to part with all of them. She chose a pretty satin one for the ball, trimmed with delicate mother or pearl and ribboning. As she was still in mourning for her beloved father, she had dyed it black. Although it did not now have the jewel toned radiance of its original blue hue, the black still emphasised her creamy skin and contrasted with her burnished amber eyes and dark hair. She examined herself critically in the looking glass, noticing every flaw although the ensemble had a pleasing effect overall. She had worn her hair in soft waves piled loosely on top of her head with a simple pearl comb pushed through it. The simple, smoothed back bun she normally wore in her role as governess was gone for the night. Her only other adornment was her mother’s silver locket that her father had bestowed upon her on her eighteenth birthday.</p><p>She waited as long as possible to go down, wanting to slip in unnoticed in the crowds while the festivities were in full swing. Looking one more time in the looking glass with a frown she let out a heavy sigh before leaving her room. At the foot of the stairs she could hear the music, muffled from behind the heavy wooden doors leading into the ball room, excited chattering, laughing and the overall sound of merriment reached her ears. One of the footmen opened the door for her with a curt nod, opening it onto a riot of colour as Rey entered cautiously, painted with poinsettia and holly. Dancing, talking, flirting and drinking filled the room and the scent of various perfumes filled the air. She edged around the perimeter of the ball room, looking for a good vantage point so that she could watch the festivities, eventually finding a spot on the side lines that gave her a good view of the quadrille currently being danced. With a glass of champagne in her hand, she tapped her feet to the music and began to enjoy herself.</p><p>Nobody paid her much heed, and that was fine with her as for a glorious moment she could pretend that she was back home in London at one of her father’s parties. He would appear any minute now, laughing and joking and wanting to introduce her to some person or another. Except that didn’t happen, instead as she looked up through the dancers, she found Lady Hux staring at her, her mouth pinched and her eyes narrowed. It was more of a glare than a stare and Rey felt her heart fall, feeling cold and isolated. Looking away she wished that she had not come and not allowed herself to be talked into it by Armitage. She then scolded herself for thinking of him as Armitage, he was Lord Hux, Earl of Yavin and she should not forget it. She decided to stand her ground for the time being and ignored Lady Hux’s gaze though it felt as though it gnawed right through her. Rey began to feel annoyed at the older woman’s behaviour as with her position and situation in society, she should know better and set a good example for others. Unfortunately, this was not a ideal world and Rey had met many women like her before, the so called Grande Dames of society who had looked down upon her, for her ‘new money’. Now they would look down on her for her new lowered position.</p><p>“Yes, he lost all of their money, bad investments I believe.”</p><p>“So now she is the governess, how amusing.”</p><p>The middle aged one of the two laughed cruelly and the younger one, presumably her daughter glanced over at Rey, looking her up and down.</p><p>“It just goes to show that those kinds of people should not have money, they clearly do not know how to look after it; it is not in their nature.”</p><p>The mother looked over at Rey with her snide comment, doing nothing to hide the fact that they were discussing her. Rey stared at the floor as her cheeks burnt with shame as her temper began to grow, she had enough. She placed her glass forcefully down on a passing footman’s tray and swept out, heading for the door, when someone grabbed her gloved hand and prevented her going any further. She turned brusquely, about to snap when she found herself looking into Armitage’s soft blue eyes.</p><p>“My Lord, please excuse me, I feel unwell so I am going to retire.”</p><p>“Do not lie to me,” his voice was quiet. “That is not the reason.”</p><p>Rey could not meet his eyes and could feel people watching their exchange out of curiosity.</p><p>“Dance with me.”</p><p>She looked up, unsure that she had heard him correctly.</p><p>“Your mother…” she trailed off.</p><p>“My mother be damned,” he hissed. “Dance with me.”</p><p>She knew that she should say no and continue with her original plan of returning to her room. He had practically ordered her to dance, not requested, but she could not help it, it felt like a retort to the gossipers and ill wishers. He led her to the dance floor where a waltz was just beginning.</p><p>‘Of all the dances,’ she thought wryly.</p><p>The two of them were soon gliding along with the rest of the couples, and it felt oh so good to be dancing again, so she allowed herself to enjoy it. He held her close to him as the dance dictated and guided her through the dance though she knew it well. He was an excellent dancer, elegant and precise but she did not feel as though she were in danger of being swept away.</p><p>“Was this a good idea?” she asked.</p><p>“Probably not,” he smiled, keeping eye contact with her.</p><p>His eyes were locked on hers for the duration of the dance but she could not help but feel unsettled. She could not entirely shake off the feeling that people thought ill of her and before long it was confirmed. She heard them, their cruel, judgemental words reaching her.</p><p>“…throwing herself at an Earl…”</p><p>“Gold digger.”</p><p>The dance ended but the room began to spin, people seemed louder and closer. Armitage still had his hand upon her waist and she felt too hot and needed air. The perfume that she had previously thought pleasant now seemed heavy and cloying. She pulled away from him and curtsied before walking away, though it looked as though he was going to say something. She ignored the people looking staring at her and headed for the terrace doors that led out onto the gardens.</p><p>She breathed with relief as the cold crisp night air hit her and the sound of the ballroom dropped to a low hum as she shut the door behind her. She marvelled at the winter frost that had covered everything with an iridescent icy shimmer, illuminated by the lights from the house. The night was clear, clear enough to see the constellations far above her and a crescent silver moon glowed. Why could not everything be as simple and beautiful as it were out here in the moonlight? She stood for a moment, breathing deeply with her head craned back, looking up at the stars with the muffled music of the ballroom in the background.</p><p>“He should not have done that.”</p><p>She sighed, opening her eyes, Kylo. Why did he always seem to find her when she was alone?</p><p>“Do what?”</p><p>“Dance with you.”</p><p>She instantly bristled at his words, her eyes flashing.</p><p>“It’s not the reason you think,” he said quickly, reading her look and picking up on her indignant anger, his voice gentle. “You’re always so defensive. He should not have danced with you and put you in that position for people to mock and insult you. He made things worse for you, whether he meant to or not.”</p><p>Her anger was momentarily diffused as she found herself surprised at his clarity and apparent concern, but knew ultimately that he was right. She should not have danced with him and had gone against her better judgement for a few shallow moments.</p><p>“You should pay no heed to them though, the gossipers.”</p><p>“You can afford to say that.”</p><p>She could not keep the bitterness from her tongue at his offhand comment. He raised his brow.</p><p>“You have money, an old family name, a position in society and most importantly you are a man. You can do whatever you want and pay no heed to the gossipers, as you say.”</p><p>He sneered with derision and laughter.</p><p>“If anything, that means the complete opposite and you know it.”</p><p>She sighed and shrugged slightly.</p><p>“Maybe we are both right in our own way, but even so you would not be cast out into the world with nothing.”</p><p>“You have met my mother?”</p><p>His eyes caught hers in amusement and she could not help but laugh.</p><p>Rey who had sufficiently cooled off, suddenly shivered as a chill from the cold night air ran over her, Kylo immediately noticed.</p><p>“Here we are, putting the world to rights and you are about to catch your death,” he swiftly removed his red overcoat, draping it across her shoulders before she could protest. “I will not be accused of not being chivalrous.”</p><p>“Thank you,” she replied, pulling the coat tighter around herself, feeling his body warmth, still on the garment.</p><p>She could not help but feel the intimacy of it, his heat against her bare skin and shivered again.</p><p>“Will you dance with me Miss Johnson?” he held out his hand.</p><p>“I have already danced with one member of the Hux family tonight. I think that was quite enough for your mother and the gossipers, don’t you?”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t mean for us to go back in, we could dance out here, no judgement, no gossip, just dancing. It would be a shame for your night to be cut short due to some jealous old cats.”</p><p>She felt that she should say no as she should have done before, but it had been so long since she had been able to dance that she did not want to. She slipped her arms into the sleeves of Kylo’s coat to make dancing easier, making him laugh at the sight of her swamped in his coat, the sleeves comically long on her arms. He did not say anything out loud, but he had never thought anyone had looked as lovely as she did right there in that moment, with laughter on her face. She in turn how different his face looked when he laughed, noticing the way his eyes crinkled at the corner. </p><p>He took her in his arms and they began to dance across the patio discreetly, staying away from the windows. Dancing with him felt instantly different, making. Despite the icy air, she felt warm in his arms and could feel the heat radiate from his hand as it held her waist tight, spreading across her body. Her gaze faltered as he looked at her, making her heart thud loudly in her chest. He was so overwhelming, his large body, his masculine scent and feel of his hands upon her. The music had finished and they had slowed to a stop, Kylo still holding her, making her become very aware of their close proximity. Aware of the heat from his hands, of how deep his eyes were, how big and broad he was and how he looked at her as though he would consume her.</p><p>“Miss Johnson…”</p><p>He looked down at her, his expression open as though he were about to tell her something, something important.</p><p>“Please be careful.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“My brother…”</p><p>“Kylo!”</p><p>A smooth voice interrupted them and whatever he was about to tell her was lost. It was his brother, not looking pleased in the slightest at seeing them there. She could also see their mother lurking behind him, ever watchful, a predatory lioness. She sensed Kylo tense as his relaxed stance and ease with her was gone. He sighed and rolled his eyes, letting go of her.</p><p>“I need to go.”</p><p>Rey quickly handed his coat back to him before he bowed politely and headed towards his brother and mother. She stood watching as he entered the ball room, shrugging his coat back on and throwing her one last glance before he shut the door behind him. She could see his mother muttering in the background, glaring outside at Rey.</p><p>She suddenly felt very cold and very alone and made her way back inside, shivering. Avoiding the ball room, she skirted around the edge of the house to the servant’s entrance. The kitchen was warm and hectic as she passed through as servants hurried pouring more drinks and loading up trays with the elegant glasses. Everyone was too busy to give her any attention and left her alone. She grabbed a small fruit tart from one of the trays about to be taken out to the guests to eat in her room, wrapping it in a napkin.</p><p>As she lay in bed that night, unable to sleep, the party downstairs continued until the early hours. Rey pondered over what Kylo had been about to tell her, his expression had been so serious and worrisome. He probably most likely wanted to warn her not to waste her time getting attached to someone as lofty as the Earl. Was she getting attached though? She tried to analyse her feelings and was at even more of a loss, tossing and turning until she eventually fell asleep.</p><p>−</p><p>Rey awoke the next morning to a throbbing head, keeping her from attending Church with the family. She found out later that Lady Hux and Kylo had also elected to stay at home that morning, to ‘rest’ instead. It seemed that champagne had won over religion. Miss Holdo sent a tray to her room and after a peaceful breakfast she felt marginally restored, though a little low in spirits. She dressed herself in her plain black woollen gown and put her hair back into her usual simple bun, back to normality. She cursed as she heard the rain begin to patter on the window pane, starting to off as a light sprinkle and turning into a full torrent. She had planned on a walk to the Summer House to clear her head and maybe write for a little but due to the weather she had to resort to her backup plan.</p><p>Sighing, she wrapped a charcoal coloured shawl around her shoulders and left her room. The trouble with grand houses were that they were always cold, and not for the first time did Rey miss the cosier constraints of her old London home. After the excitement of the night before, the house was quiet, almost too quiet. She was taken by surprise when she bumped into Kylo at the foot of the stairs leading to her room. It was as though he were waiting for her, looking anxious, almost nervous, which was incredibly unlike him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her gently to the side.</p><p>“I must talk with you,” he stated.</p><p>Rey noticed that he still held gently on to her arm.</p><p>“Of course, what is it?”</p><p>She looked up earnestly at him, and for a moment he faltered and was again taken aback at her loveliness, despite the awful drab mourning wear. Perhaps it would be best if he left things alone. He knew however he needed to talk to her, explain everything.</p><p>“Kylo?”</p><p>He came back to attention and looked into her perplexed eyes.</p><p>“Forgive me,” he began. “I tried to tell you something last night, something I need you to know.”</p><p>She said nothing, just waited patiently for him to continue.</p><p>“I’ve noticed that you and my brother have become better acquainted, closer.”</p><p>He swore inwardly at his choice of words, for evidently they were not right as she snatched her arm away from his hand.</p><p>“I assure you, there is nothing inappropriate in our dealings with each other,” she retorted hotly. “He has merely been kind and welcoming since I arrived, a friend to me. Heaven knows I have previous few of those around here.”</p><p>“I am sorry, I meant nothing untoward, it is just that…”</p><p>His words wavered, becoming unfocused as he tried to ignore how she were looking at him. He could not help but look down at her lips, pink and moist; without thinking he gently brushed his thumb against them, holding her face gently in his hand. Rey’s cheeks grew hotter and redder; she found that could not move, that in fact she did not want to move.</p><p>“Rey I must tell you…”</p><p>“Kylo!” a shrill voice filled the air as his mother’s voice carried from down the main staircase.</p><p>They both jumped back as though struck with an electric current. Lady Hux called again, more urgently this time; Kylo grimaced and cursed under his breath in frustration.</p><p>“Dammit!”</p><p>“You should go,” Rey replied, her tone cool, much cooler than she felt.</p><p>He hesitated for a moment when his mother called once more, almost as if she knew. She stood watching him leave, unsure as to what had just happened, slowly lifting her fingers to her lips, where the ghost of his touch lay. She snapped out of her reverie and headed to the library, her cheeks still warm and pink from the encounter.</p><p>She hesitantly opened the library door, peering around to make sure that she were not disturbing anyone. The room was empty but no fire had been lit, for seemingly the housemaids were running behind. As she browsed the shelves, still running through her head her encounter with Kylo, she did not hear Armitage enter the room until he quietly clicked the door shut behind him.</p><p>“My Lord, forgive me. I would have gone to the summer house were it not for the weather.”</p><p>She felt as though she stumbled nervously over her words, had he seen?</p><p>“It is quite alright Miss Johnson.”</p><p>She nodded and carried on looking at the shelves before her, although she must have read the same titles ten times over. She could not concentrate, as she could feel his eyes upon her, watching her.</p><p>“Miss Johnson, I wish to apologise for my mother’s behaviour last night. It was most uncalled for.”</p><p>His smooth velvet like voice, sounded sincere and troubled.</p><p>“I appreciate your apology, but it was not just your mother,” Rey’s voice betrayed a hint of bitterness.</p><p>“No indeed, but I do not want you to be unhappy here.”</p><p>She paused her browsing and considered his words; how tender they sounded, how much concern and compassion he had for her.</p><p>“Thank you, I appreciate that,” she replied, turning to face him again.</p><p>He held her gaze for just a moment, though it felt much longer, the air felt heavy between them as though something was being unsaid. He seemed to remember himself and cleared his throat.</p><p>“Well, I will leave you to your peace and quiet.”</p><p>He bowed with a smile, she answered with a curtsy and he was gone, leaving her alone in the library once more.</p><p>‘His brother could learn a thing or too about behaving like a gentleman,’ she thought, distractedly brushing her finger along her lip.</p><p>Sighing, she turned back to the shelves, trying not to dwell on those brown eyes, that tall broad frame, and those warm hands. She huffed loudly at herself when it did not work.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Mistake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An encounter with Kylo has Rey questioning both his and her own character and secrets and scandals come to the fore</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The air was crisp and cold but the sky was bright and sunny with the winter sun low in the sky. Dark clouds drifted across the horizon but they were far away, giving Rey no cause for concern as she walked across the parkland. Many a Saturday afternoon she would spend in this manner, using the opportunity for exercise and fresh air, making the most of the beautiful surroundings after spending all of her life in London. The grounds of Arkanis were extensive, with much to explore if one wanted to. She had always found that walking would clear her head or lift her spirits when they were low and today was no exception. She had walked for a good couple of hours, heading in the general direction of the wooded area of the park that bordered onto the estate’s farmland. The grass grew longer and the land more rugged, it was wilder but still peaceful. Much to her annoyance therefore, she spied a tall, dark figure walking towards her from the cluster of bare trees. His thick, muscular thighs took wide strides across the turf, his dark grey coat flapping out behind him in the breeze. His appearance caused her to huff in frustration as he strode over the land, clearly having spotted her. She suddenly felt very self-conscious in regards to her appearance, windswept and a little muddy, with her bonnet in hand and not keeping her hair in place as it ought to. Her momentary vanity then gave way to indignation at herself for feeling like that, for why should she react that way to him of all people? He was no different to any other young rake she had encountered in her time out in society; they had not bothered her, so why did he?</p><p>“What the Devil are you doing out here?” he growled as he reached her side.</p><p>“Walking,” she scowled slightly. “I would have thought that were obvious.”</p><p>Kylo smarted inwardly at the governess’ prickly response and wondered why she always seemed to be on the defensive with him. He seemed to rattle her and get beneath her skin. If he was being honest with himself, he liked that he had that effect on her for he felt the same, why should he be the only one to suffer?</p><p>“Well yes,” he replied. “Though most young ladies prefer a turn around the room.”</p><p>“One could hardly call that exercise,” she could not help but roll her eyes a little. “At least not exercise worth taking.”</p><p>“No indeed,” he agreed, although he found himself being distracted by the effect the exercise had upon her.</p><p>Her cheeks were a rosy shade of pink and her eyes sparkled, a soft wave of hair had come lose and fell around her face. She looked far more alive and vivacious than she did sitting in a school room teaching lessons. He could not help but think of another form of exercise he’d like to see her engage in, breathless and flushed. He scolded himself internally and shook the thought away, knowing it would not help anything.</p><p>“You are teasing me?”</p><p>“A little,” he admitted.</p><p>“Though I mainly wondered why you had walked so far when it’s clearly going to rain.”</p><p>“It’s not going to rain,” she looked up at the sky, gesturing with her hands as though to make a point.</p><p>“We shall see,” he replied quietly with a knowing little smile that she could not interpret.</p><p>“May I walk with you?”</p><p>She could think of no reason why not so nodded as he fell in step with her.</p><p>The couple walked on in silence for a few minutes, adjusting naturally to each other’s pace.</p><p>“Where had you come from?” Rey’s curiosity got the better of her.</p><p>“I had visited one of our tenant farmers on behalf of Armitage, on business.”</p><p>“Would it not have been easier and quicker to ride there?”</p><p>He looked over at her and noticed a sly smile on her sensual mouth, she was teasing him which made him to laugh. He preferred the teasing than the look of disdain she so often shot him.</p><p>“I wanted the exercise and riding would not have given me exercise worth having.”</p><p>She laughed in response, soft and airy and inside he felt gladdened that she seemed to be relaxing a little around him. He could not quantify what it was, but something about her made him want to open up to her, make her understand him. Maybe it was a desperate innate need that he had to not be alone, to not feel as though no other person cared. Even if she hated him, it would be better than apathy.</p><p>“In truth I like to walk,” he continued. “Some days, when I feel like a caged animal, it helps ease my mind somewhat.”</p><p>“A caged animal? Should I be afraid of you?”</p><p>She asked the question light heartedly, though she sensed he had dropped the teasing facade.</p><p>He stood still for a moment, looking ahead into the distance as the green of their surroundings reflected in his eyes.</p><p>“Sometimes I feel as though the walls of the house close in around me, tightening their grip. I can barely breathe, like the air is thin.”</p><p>She wondered at the sudden change in his countenance and tone, why he had betrayed that most inner thought to her. He noticed that her face was now etched with a concerned frown as she examined him, searching for clues.</p><p>“Walking blows the cobwebs away,” he laughed.</p><p>“I know what you mean,” her voice was quiet.</p><p>“Have you felt like that here?” he asked, feeling an overwhelming and surprising concern for her wellbeing.</p><p>“In truth, some days yes,” she responded, as she slowly began to walk again.</p><p>He frowned slightly.</p><p>“I am sorry to hear that.”</p><p>They were both quiet for a moment, each thinking over what the other had said, neither of them noticing the change in the sky.</p><p>“What did you wish to tell me the other day?”</p><p>Her question out of the blue took him slightly off guard. He noticed that she didn’t mention the moment in the hallway, which was probably for the best, all things considered. He paused, considering his choice of words.</p><p>“I know that you are on good terms with my brother,” he began.</p><p>“Yes, he is a kind and considerate employer.”</p><p>“Yes, yes, of course,” he replied cautiously. “I just wish to offer you a word of warning Johnson.”</p><p>“Warning?”</p><p>“Please be careful, Armitage...he is a complicated man, and I would not want you to get hurt.”</p><p>“Hurt?” she snapped. “Do you think I am in danger of losing my heart to him or some such nonsense? This is your way of warning me off? Well, let me tell you my heart is not so easily taken, I merely have a kind respect for him as my employer, that is all.”</p><p>Kylo bit his lip, flinching at her tone.</p><p>“I did not mean to offend you Miss Johnson, it was kindly meant,” he tried to explain. “It is yourself I am concerned for, not my brother.”</p><p>She did not reply, but carried on walking, mulling over his cryptic words.</p><p>“Why are you so concerned?”</p><p>“You have been through a lot, it has not been easy for you,” he said, a statement more than a question. “I admire you.”</p><p>He wondered If her had gone too far when she shot him a curious look, her lips pursed slightly.</p><p>“I too lost my father whom I had been very close to, that in itself was difficult enough,” he explained. “You lost your home and your life too; I do not know that I would have coped in your situation. You have shown remarkable strength of character.”</p><p>She smiled faintly at his sentiment.</p><p>“As flattering as your words are, I merely did what I had to do in order to survive. Besides you are a man, and a great many more options are open to your sex.”</p><p>There was a trace of resentment to her voice but also acceptance.</p><p>“My options were to marry or find employment, as you well know.”</p><p>He could not help ask his next question, and wondered at his own motivation for doing so.</p><p>“Was there no young man who would have offered for you?”</p><p>With the look she gave him he became slightly embarrassed.</p><p>“Forgive me,” he stated quickly. “It is none of my affair.”</p><p>“There is no need to apologise, I thought that we were being quite frank with one another.”</p><p>She offered him a reassuring smile and he relaxed once more.</p><p>“In answer to your question, no, there was nobody. Nobody I would have wished to attach myself to for life anyway,” she explained. “My father never pushed me into making a match, he wanted me to have what my mother and he had found together.”</p><p>“A love match?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Knowing that she had no prior attachments to anyone made his heart feel lighter, far lighter than it had any reason to. He cursed himself, for he was acting as a green youth of which he most definitely was not.</p><p>“So, you see my Lord, as marriage was out of the question, I needed employment. If I had been a man, I could have entered the church or the army. Alas however, I was born the less fortunate of the sexes. I just have my skills as governess and my wri…”</p><p>She suddenly stopped herself short, he raised an eyebrow puzzled.</p><p>“And you’re what?”</p><p>She sighed and looked flushed.</p><p>“My writing,” she mumbled.</p><p>His eyes widened in surprise at her admission.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>She noted that his tone did not convey disgust or horror, if anything he sounded impressed.</p><p>“It started off as a hobby, but when I realised my new circumstances in life, it became a way for a little extra income, meagre though it may be.”</p><p>“What do you write?”</p><p>“Romantic adventure stories,” she looked up at him from under her wispy lashes, studying his face for any sign of mockery.</p><p>“Miss Johnson, I am impressed,” he replied sincerely. “Would you allow me to read some of them some time?”</p><p>“Maybe,” she smiled slightly, glancing sideways at him.</p><p>“At least you have some talents to fall back on,” he stated. “I alas have none. I did consider the army however.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Yes, I was swept up with all of the patriotic fervour and several of my friends purchased commissions, setting off to defeat the French.”</p><p>“What stopped you?”</p><p>His expression was serious, his eyes distant.</p><p>“I procrastinated for too long, both of my friends were killed in action and then my father died…”</p><p>She rested her hand without thinking, upon his arm.</p><p>“I am so sorry.”</p><p>Their eyes met for a moment; both had stopped walking again without realising. Kylo quickly tried to shift the mood, his carefree veil back in place.</p><p>“Then of course old Boney went into exile and there no longer seemed to be any point. Besides, there was the most obvious reason that I never joined.”</p><p>She raised her brow in question.</p><p>“I would so hate taking orders and having to behave myself.”</p><p>He grinned cheekily at her, causing her to roll her eyes in mock consternation. It was at that point that the pair began to notice the light droplets of rain patter down on to their faces. The grey rain clouds had finally caught up with them. Rey looked up at the swiftly darkening sky.</p><p>“It seems that you were correct about the weather.”</p><p>Then the rain, as though mocking her, turned from a shower into a tremendous downpour. The heavens unleashed everything it held upon them all at once.</p><p>“Come,” without thinking, he grabbed her hand and led her running to the nearest cluster of trees.</p><p>Laughing and slightly out of breath, they reached a large old oak tree nestled against a rocky outcrop. The trees many boughs offered them some temporary shelter from the torrent, but they were both already soaked. As Kylo slicked his wet, dark hair from his face, Rey made an effort to ring her skirts out to little avail. She laughed at the futility of it and pushed the hair clinging to her face away. He tried not to notice how the soaked fabric clung to curves, avoiding it with his eyes.</p><p>“Hopefully, it will soon blow over,” she said, looking out over the parkland, blurred by the heavy rain.</p><p>She shivered slightly and Kylo noticed the misty vapour leave her lips which held a bluer tinge than they had previously. He quickly shrugged off his grey top coat.</p><p>“Here.”</p><p>He approached her, pulling the long coat gently around her so that she was covered, for the second time in his jacket.</p><p>“It is somewhat damp, but it will offer you a little more warmth,” he smiled, his voice a low purr.</p><p>Everything around Rey became amplified as he stood looking down at her, his large hands still gripping the lapels of his coat, almost pulling her to him. Water ran down his face from his hair and she could feel the warmth of his hands under her face. The rain seemed to roar even louder, much like the blood in her veins; she felt warm and cold simultaneously. She could smell the wet grass, the fields, pine and moss and she could smell him, warm and spicy with a hint of fresh soap. This is why he was so dangerous, for around him, all her senses were flooded overwhelmed, chasing every logical thought she had from her head. He would question himself over and over later that day as to why he did it, but right there in that moment it seemed the right thing to do, the only thing to do. He slowly lowered his head and with the lightest touch, brushed his lips across hers. Her eyes widened and as he opened his eyes she took a step backwards, almost stumbling in the process. Her face fled through a range of emotions, from shock, to confusion and then something that resembled anger.</p><p>“How dare you?” she whispered.</p><p>He stepped forward, his hand outstretched in an apologetic gesture, his expression stricken.</p><p>“Miss Johnson, Rey, please forgive me.”</p><p>“Stay right there!” she held her hand up to stop him, her face flashing with anger.</p><p>He stopped.</p><p>“My apologies, I overstepped the mark, I did not intend to,” he tried to explain himself but found that he could not, not really.</p><p>“But you did!”</p><p>Rey’s look was scathing.</p><p>“I am not here as some plaything for you to take liberties with!”</p><p>“I know Rey, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“You warn me against your brother, yet it’s you I should be careful around!”</p><p>She tore his coat violently from her shoulders and flung it at him, before turning on her heels and marching back out into the rain, towards the house. He wanted desperately to follow her but knew that it would not be wise to. She was extremely angered and hurt, and with reason.</p><p>“You’re an ass,” he cursed himself under his breath.</p><p>He prayed too much damage had not been done from his impulsive actions, he had hoped he would have longer before she saw him for what he was.<br/>Rey eventually arrived back at the house, soaked to the bone, much to the dismay of Holdo, who promptly arranged warm dry clothes and a hot cup of tea for her, before packing her off to bed.</p><p>“I will not have you catching a chill,” she admonished, at Rey’s protests.</p><p>She did not protest for very long however as her body ached all over and an exhausted sleepiness overcame her. As she drifted off to sleep, her thoughts rested upon Kylo and the soft gentle feel of his lips upon hers, warm and lingering. She awoke to a fuzzy, heavy head and a throat that felt as though it had been stripped raw. She groaned and buried her head back beneath the bedclothes, the air of the room feeling icy and damp. Holdo was surprised when she entered the room with a knock to find Rey still in bed, for normally she would be up and dressed already.</p><p>“Come now dear, the hour grows late,” she drew the drapes to reveal another grey miserable day.</p><p>Rey tried to reply as she sat up, but her reply came out in a raspy croak. Immediately Holdo was at Rey’s side, feeling her forehead with her warm hand. She tutted and sighed.</p><p>“You are burning up.”</p><p>She noted Rey’s pale face and the sheen of perspiration that covered her.</p><p>“You will have to stay abed,” the housekeeper ordered.</p><p>“Amelia…”</p><p>“You are in no fit state for lessons,” she scolded. “I will let the family know; you need to rest.”</p><p>Rey tried to argue but found that she did not have the strength to argue and fell back on to the pillows.</p><p>−</p><p>The family sat around the breakfast table partaking of their late morning meal, when Osborne entered quietly. He stood patiently to deliver his message.</p><p>"Yes Osborne, what is it?" Kylo asked roughly, his temper sore since the previous day.</p><p>“Forgive me, but I have been informed that Miss Johnson has taken ill.”</p><p>“Oh dear, whatever is the matter?” Armitage looked concerned as their mother just scowled.</p><p>“I believe that she has caught a cold, Miss Holdo has ordered her to stay in bed.”</p><p>“I am sure that Holdo knows best,” Armitage smiled.</p><p>Lady Hux snorted under her breath, but their ever-professional butler pretended not to notice it.</p><p>“Thank you Osborne,” Armitage dismissed him.</p><p>“Perhaps we should send for the physician?” Kylo offered, his brow wrinkled, a frown marring his face.</p><p>“Oh, for heaven’s sake, she just had a cold,” his mother huffed. “Besides it is her own fault for scurrying around the grounds like a hoyden.”</p><p>She chewed angrily on her toast, causing the two brothers to share a knowing exasperated look.</p><p>   Armitage dutifully sent for the family physician who promptly arrived at the house later that afternoon. He advised that there was nothing serious to worry about, that the patient just needed bed rest and plenty of tea and nourishing broth that cook was happy to provide. Rey was mortified and worried that her encumbrance would affect the relationship with the family, but Holdo was kindly and reassuring. It had been two days and Rey grew restless in bed, yet every time she stood, her head began to spin. She leant back against her upright pillows with a sigh and looked in the direction of the window where rain splattered and trickled across the panes. A knock at the door interrupted her sullen thoughts.</p><p>“Come in,” she called out, her voice still causing her to start coughing.</p><p>As she sipped the water next to her bed, she was taken aback and a little alarmed to find Kylo enter. His tall, broad form seemed to fill her relatively small room as he stood awkwardly, waiting for her to respond. He held out a small posy of blooms to her.</p><p>“A peace offering,” his expression was hopeful and unsure and again his normal veneer seemed to drop.</p><p>She took the flowers as she pulled her shawl tighter around her.</p><p>“You should not be in here,” she whispered, frustrated as the words came out in a gravelly rasp.</p><p>“Do not worry, nobody saw me and I will not prevail upon you for long.” She nodded and sniffed at the flowers still in her hand.</p><p>“They are from the hot house,” he explained. “I wish again to make an apology of my ungentlemanly behaviour the other day.”</p><p>She involuntarily flushed at the memory and hoped that he would not notice, he did, but said nothing.</p><p>“I am sorry that I upset you and made you uncomfortable,” he carried on. “It is the last thing that I would want.”</p><p>She searched his face and could only find sincerity there, he seemed to be truly sorry, at least in appearance.</p><p>“I accept your apology.”</p><p>Instantly his face broke into a small smile.</p><p>“However,” his smile faded somewhat, unsure as to what she would say. “I would ask of you to not mock me in that way again.”</p><p>Mock her? Is that what she thought he had been doing? He held his tongue, not wanting to complicate things further. She eyed him curiously, trying to work out his expression.</p><p>“I will not behave in that manner again Miss Johnson, you have my word.” </p><p>She nodded in acceptance as the room grew heavy.</p><p>“Now that we are friends again, I will leave you to your rest,” he stated and bowed. “Good day.”</p><p>Before she could respond, he had gone, closing the door quietly behind him. With a sigh she fell back on to the pillows, her head and emotions somewhat disturbed. She was pleased, relieved even, that Kylo had apologised to her, but that small comparatively innocent kiss had gotten to her. It had forced her to acknowledge the attraction that she felt for him, however much she tried to deny it, pushing it down beneath her conflicted emotions. It was an attraction that she could not afford to have, especially with him. By kissing her, she once again questioned the dubious nature of his character for a gentleman would never have behaved in such a manner. He had behaved in a way that demonstrated his lack of regard for her and her precarious position, for if anyone had seen them, it would have cost her job and her livelihood. Though she had forgiven him, for the sake of peace, she knew that it was also down to her sense of belief in people, surely he deserved a chance? Didn't he?</p><p> </p><p>The incident played upon Rey’s mind over and over for the next several days, despite her efforts to move on from it. She did what she could to avoid Kylo, ducking out of sight whenever she caught sight of his hulking, brooding presence. Luckily her lessons with Amelia kept her occupied and out of the way of the family until the evening where she would join them in the drawing room after dinner. She hated those moments, where an awkward quiet lay over the room under the scrutinising gaze of Lady Hux, who seemed to find something disagreeable with everything and nothing. Kylo would skulk in the corner making a pretence of reading, his deep, intense gaze flickering over to Rey when he thought that she were not looking. Armitage would make polite, genial conversation, making Rey appreciate his efforts to make her feel at ease; it was far more than his mother would ever deem to do.</p><p>“Miss Johnson, you will play for us,” Lady Hux would announce out of the blue.</p><p>In turn Rey would have to perform, grateful that her playing, however inefficient she felt it was, covered the silence. She would stay with the family for the smallest amount of time possible for making her excuses and taking leave, escaping to the simple, yet peaceful confines of her room. Every time she left, Kylo’s eyes would follow her until she had disappeared from the room, damming himself for the addiction he felt grow within him.</p><p>    When the weekends arrived, Rey was very much left to her own devices so to fill the time, she would walk, read and write. Despite the cold weather, Rey would walk for hours in and around the grounds, though she would never take the route of that fateful day. One Saturday afternoon, when the winter sun was low in the sky, casting a hazy golden glow across the land, the crisp air biting, Rey came across Armitage. He stood looking out across the park on the western side of the house, his pale skin warmed by the setting sun, his red hair looking like burnished copper. </p><p>“My Lord,” she greeted brightly.</p><p>He turned, drawn out from his musing by her voice, his expression brightening.</p><p>“Miss Johnson, out for one your walks I see?”</p><p>She smiled in reply, joining him.</p><p>“It is beautiful is it not, this land?” he said, looking back out across the parkland that grew increasingly colourful, painted in the riotous light of the sunset. </p><p>“Truly,” Rey agreed, following his gaze. “It was always my father’s dream to have a country home, somewhere to retreat to. He used to talk about the gardens he would build, I think in truth for mother’s memory.”</p><p>Armitage detected the pain in her voice and tucked her hand into the crook of his arm, guiding her along the pathway. They walked together in companionable quiet around the outskirts of the house, enjoying the peace and beauty of the day as it bowed out. Despite the relaxing tȇte-á-tȇte the one thing that had weighed upon her mind since she had arrived prompted her to speak. </p><p>“May I ask you a question my Lord?”</p><p>“Of course, I shall do my best to answer it,” he smiled down upon her. </p><p>“What happened to my predecessor? Why did she leave?”</p><p>She could tell instantly that the question had made him uncomfortable as his complexion paled further, his expression grew troubled and his smile vanished.</p><p>“Please do not tell me that she left for another position for I know that is not true.”</p><p>She felt her pulse race at the audacity in demanding an answer from her employer. Armitage stopped walking, bringing them to a stop. </p><p>“It is quite a delicate matter Miss Johnson and I would not wish to offend your feminine sensibilities,” as he spoke, he could not meet her eyes and shifted on the spot. </p><p>“You will only offend me Sir if you do not tell me the truth.”</p><p>He sighed for he could see that she would not drop the issue.</p><p>“In truth,” he replied finally, she left in disgrace.”</p><p>His voice shook ever so slightly, and still not meeting her gaze he did not look at her and focused on his feet. She sensed his shame and embarrassment and felt sympathy towards his clearly wounded soul. </p><p>“In disgrace, why?” she asked, her palms feeling clammy. </p><p>She was fairly certain she knew the answer but wanted, no, needed it confirmed. </p><p>“She was with child, Kylo’s child,” he added quickly.</p><p>Rey’s blood ran cold for she could only imagine the terrible situation the previous governess had found herself in. She imagined how alone and shamed she would have been; would she have had anyone to turn to?</p><p>“The poor girl,” she murmured.</p><p>Armitage looked uncomfortable and unsure, ashamed at what his brother had done. </p><p>“Did he acknowledge the child?”</p><p>“No, but I believe he sends them some money to keep the girl quiet.”</p><p>“So, he did not stand by her?” she felt herself grow angry. </p><p>Armitage’s eyes fell as a faint sheen covered his face, his anguish at his brother’s actions apparent. </p><p>“He did what he could in the circumstances, for obviously he could not marry her, that would be impossible for someone in his position. Besides mother would never allow it and would not allow him to acknowledge the child formally.”</p><p>Rey felt sick to her stomach and angry at how Kylo had behaved, yet she should not have been surprised. He were no different to other wealthy men who used their position to their advantage and treated women like toys, a fleeting amusement, dispensable. </p><p>“Then he should have considered that before.”</p><p>Armitage folded his hands behind his back, looking down at the floor almost chastened.</p><p>“Quite.”</p><p>Rey inhaled deeply and composed herself though she felt shaky and nauseated. </p><p>“Apologies my Lord, I did not mean to let my temper rise, it is not your fault,  I am glad that you told me.”</p><p>“No need to apologise Miss Johnson, you have done nothing wrong.”</p><p>“If you have no objection, I am going to retreat back inside. I have grown quite cold.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>He bowed as she made her way back indoors, feeling the need to be alone. She would not admit to herself that the reason she felt so angry and hurt, was because she felt disappointed. Deep down she had felt a connection to Kylo, which had only intensified after that kiss. Now however, she had found out the worst about him, discovered what kind of man he really was. It seemed as though her initial assessment of him had been correct and she had been a fool to think otherwise. She grew angry at herself, for her desperation for companionship and connection had blinded her to his true nature, though her instincts had told her otherwise. He was a cad and a scoundrel and somewhere out there, some poor woman’s life had been absolutely ruined because of him. She sat on the bed, her eyes stinging with tears that she furiously tried to keep back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Mysterious Woman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey visits her friend Jyn in town and bumps into someone unexpectantly much to her annoyance. Back home at Arkanis, someone is watching her.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>December grew to a close and the new year was heralded in with much aplomb, though the day was as any other at Ark anis Hall. Rey however had been allowed to visit and stay with her friend Jyn for a full fortnight. She had been surprised that Lady Hux had granted her request but was grateful for the well-timed escape. Jyn noticed that Rey seemed quieter than her normal self, but that was not surprising considering her change in status. On more than one occasion, she attempted to convince Rey to stay with her and discontinue her position as governess though she knew how stubborn her friend would be. </p><p>“Dearest Jyn, I cannot stay with you forever, I would be a burden. You will want your own family soon and I would just be in the way.”</p><p>When she noticed her friend’s hurt expression she tried to change tact. Jyn’s family were comfortable but they were not wealthy and Rey had no desire to rely upon them. </p><p>“You know how I am, I would not be happy living off you, I need to make my own way for better or worse, but it makes me happy knowing you ae here for me.”</p><p>That placated her friend a little and for the majority of her stay the two had fun and reminisced. Jyn was delighted to be able to introduce her fiancé the Duke of Fest, to her oldest friend and was pleased when he passed Rey’s good judgement. He was a likeable young man, open and earnest and clearly smitten with Jyn. Jyn’s mother, Lady Erso had deemed it a good match, though Rey doubted that would have made any difference in her friend’s eyes. </p><p>“Do you love him?” Rey asked her friend late one night as she brushed out her brunette locks before bed.</p><p>Jyn paused mid brushing as though weighing up her answer carefully. </p><p>“Yes, he’s my friend,” she replied, her tone light. “Plus, he has good connections, a healthy income and a title.”</p><p>Jyn observed Rey’s horrified expression in the large oval looking glass that sat across from them. </p><p>“Oh Rey, don’t be naïve, not everyone can marry for some grand passionate affair, but it does not mean we don’t love each other.”</p><p>Rey wondered when her friend had grown up so much, remembering their girlhood dreams and romantic fantasies of being swept off their feet. It all seemed so childish now and had life repeatedly taught her that it was not reality. Not everyone could be as fortunate as her parents had been and not all men were as they had imagined them to be as girls. Life was much more disappointing. </p><p>“As long as you are happy,” she replied diplomatically.</p><p>“Of course, I just wish that you were. I hate to think of you wasting away in some dreary old house for some awful family who think they are better than you,” Jyn said sympathetically. </p><p>“They are better than me, at least in their eyes,” Rey replied quietly. “Well in Lady Hux’s eyes at least.”</p><p>“What of the Earl?” Jyn asked slyly, for Rey still had not mentioned much of either the Earl or the brother. </p><p>“He has been kind and welcoming and takes a great interest in his sister’s education and welfare.”</p><p>Jyn watched her friend closely in their reflection, her brush strokes growing slower with the distraction. </p><p>“What of his brother?”</p><p>“He is the worst sort and I have nothing to do with him,” she said fervently, crossing her arms, a scowl replacing her relaxed features. Jyn quickly changed the subject and talked of the following days activities but she knew that Rey was not telling her something. </p><p>                                                                                                                      XXX</p><p>The carriage pulled up outside the front of the grand Athenian style building on Bow Street and joined the queue of several carriages ahead of them. Rey looked up from the carriage to the bustling crowds of London’s nightlife as they filtered leisurely into the Covent Garden Theatre for the night’s performance of Much Ado About Nothing. Rey felt the excitement build up inside of her as she had not had the luxury of attending such an event since her father’s fall from grace. When the carriage finally stopped, Rey, Jyn and Lady Erso were helped down by the liveried footman. Each of the ladies straightened their skirts and checked each other’s appearance before heading in, trying to look elegant whilst traversing the less savoury deposits left by the horses. </p><p>Everyone was dressed in their finest as Rey gazed upon the fashionable silks, velvets and brocades, with many a Dandy in the running to outdo the ladies. They were greeted inside by a cheerful looking Duke of Fest who greeted his betrothed affectionately after addressing her mother first. </p><p>“Miss Johnson, how delighted I am that you are here with dear Jyn.”</p><p>Rey curtsied graciously and could not help but let some of his enthusiasm rub off on her. </p><p>“I have secured a box for us,” he announced happily. “I suggest that we make our way there for it is remarkably crowded tonight.”</p><p>Taking his betrothed and her mother’s arm, Rey followed behind them as the crowds made their way to their seats. </p><p>As she carefully picked her way through the throngs, avoiding stepping on any toes or gowns, she did not notice Kylo Hux making his way directly to her. He had spied her immediately as she had entered the reception hall of the theatre and was surprised at how his spirits soared at the sight of her. He immediately pushed that aside for he was not that starved for female attention after all. Despite only being a second son, his looks and charms when he chose to use them still drew him attention. However, he reasoned that ignoring her would be the utmost in rudeness. Leaving his companion, Poe Dameron’s side he meandered across the crowded room, his eyes fixed on his destination. People naturally parted for him, moving out of his path. </p><p>“Miss Johnson,” he greeted with a formal bow.</p><p>Rey froze at the sound of his voice and Kylo was taken aback at the open look of hostility in her eyes, the opposite to her beaming smile and bright, jovial eyes moments before. He was momentarily at loss for words but she had quickly recovered and put on a polite air of indifference. </p><p>“Lord Hux,” she curtsied, though it gave Kylo the impression that it grieved her to be so formal and polite with him. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>She noted with annoyance, that her companions had not noticed her fall behind and had carried on without her. </p><p>“I arrived but yesterday.”</p><p>He frowned when she did not the further the conversation and looked distractedly behind him. </p><p>“I trust you are having a pleasant break in town?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you.”</p><p>There was a wall up between them and he could not work out why, he had thought that they had begun to become friends, or at least polite acquaintances. Though she were trying to remain cool and polite in the short time he had known her, he knew that she did not hide her feelings well.</p><p>“Rey is there something amiss?”</p><p>“You will please address me as Miss Johnson,” she snapped, her expression firm. </p><p>He started abruptly at the very apparent aggression and studied her for some clue as to why she was so seemingly angry at him. His study seemed to anger her more so he retreated. He fixed his cold veneer back in place, with the relaxed nonchalant air he had perfected. </p><p>“Well, I am glad that you have enjoyed yourself” he commented and cold not help but adding. “It has been most dull without your diverting self at home.”</p><p>He could not help but smirk as she flushed angrily as her nose upturned. </p><p>“If you will excuse me my Lord, my companions have gone along without me, I must find them.”</p><p>With am abrupt nod, she fled his side and scurried away into the crowds, Kylo watching after her. </p><p>Flustered and annoyed she eventually caught up with her friends in the Duke’s box after some direction.<br/>
“Rey, they you are!”</p><p>Rey settled next to her friend smoothing her skirts and fanning herself with her lilac-coloured fan. </p><p>“Apologies, I was accosted by one of the Hux family.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Yes, insufferable cad!”</p><p>Jyn was shocked at the vehemence of her friend’s comment but before she could question her further, her fiancé was introducing her to a friend of his who would be joining them. Rey took the moment to gather herself and take in her surroundings of the grand theatre. She had not yet had the chance to visit since the refurbishments had been made two years prior. Rey and her friends were positioned to the left of the stage in the second row of boxes where they had a good view of the performance. A rose, thistle and shamrock in burnished gold adorned the different circles of the box and a crimson hue trimmed the box and covered the walls. She marvelled, looking up at the huge chandelier in the centre of the ceiling, powered by gas. It seemed as though the theatre had every new modern convenience. The air was warm in there and noisy with the bustle of the audience, the jewels and gems of the wealthy glinting in the lamp light. </p><p>The audience slowly began to quieten down as the curtains drew back and three actors and a beautiful actress appeared on stage. The newly celebrated actress Elizabeth O’Neill from Ireland had the part of Beatrice much to the audience’s delight. She had become the latest sensation the previous year when her Juliet had become the toast of London. Rey wondered how she would compare to the magnificent Mrs Siddons who she had the fortune to see on more than one occasion. </p><p>Unbeknownst to Rey, Kylo sat in a box opposite to her and watched her from afar, oblivious to the performance. Watched how her face had lit up as she looked around her opulent surroundings, watched her growing excitement as the play began. </p><p>“It is so indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man;<br/>
But for the stuffing, well we are all mortal.”</p><p>Miss O’Neill’s voice carried clearly across the theatre. The audience laughed as Rey noted the lively and vivacious portrayal as the witty heroine given by the actress. Though she knew the play well, she found herself carried away by the spirited performance and like the rest of the audience was gripped after the terrible events of the wedding. She felt Beatrice’s anger over her younger cousin’s treatment.</p><p>“Oh, that I were a man! What, bear her in hand until they come to take hands, and then, with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour. O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market place!”</p><p>Miss O’Neill faced the audience as she delivered her fierce lines, her voice strong and impassioned, her righteous fury felt by all. Rey clutched her hands to her chest in anticipation for the next scene when she happened to look across the way and saw Kylo opposite. He brazenly looked back, unflinching, those dark eyes full of intensity. How dare he, the impudent wastrel? She looked away with a haughty expression upon her face and turned her attention back to the stage. As much as she enjoyed the rest of the evening, she was too aware now of his presence, of his casual arrogance and attention on her. She did not look in his direction once, though she felt an inexplicable pull. </p><p>“Oh that I were a man,” she muttered under her breath. </p><p>                                                                                                         XXX</p><p>Rey’s time with her friend soon passed and she was once again in the carriage making the return journey to Arkanis. The weather seemed to match her mood and grew steadily murkier and damper the closer they got to the Hall. The night that she spent at the Inn on the road did nothing to improve her mood as it was filled to capacity and therefore noisy and crowded, the room damp and musty. After a poor night sleep on a lumpy mattress and another day of travel, Rey arrived home and was welcomed at the door by Holdo. She ordered one of the man servants to take her things to her room for her and plied her with tea. </p><p>She announced her return to Lady Hux who seemed as cold and apathetic towards her as ever. So much for absence makes the heart grow fonder. She went to her room to change out of her travel stained clothes and to get warm again after days in a cold carriage. She clicked the drawing room door shut behind her and headed across the hall, hugging her arms to her, her tiredness and cold seeping in to her bones. </p><p>“Rey!”</p><p>She looked up to find Armitage jogging down the main staircase to her, his face lit up with a smile though she saw caution there. She couldn’t help but feel happy that he seemed pleased to see her. </p><p>“My Lord,” she replied, whilst feeling self-conscious of her flat hair, pale cheeks and dark eyes and crumpled gown. </p><p>“You’re back,” he smiled, taking her hand and kissing it gently. </p><p>She laughed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her cheeks flushing at the warm welcome. </p><p>“It’s been abominably dull with you gone,” he commented, his expression jovial and sincere. </p><p>“You flatter me.”</p><p>“I never flatter, only telling you the truth. Amelia has been miserable with both you and Kylo gone, and Mama…well Mama has been Mama.”</p><p>He laughed, but she could see the strain behind his eyes. As the eldest and head of the household she could see that he was confined by his position, he could not do as he pleased when he pleased like Kylo did. </p><p>“Did you have a good time?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you, it was most pleasant.”</p><p>“I trust that your friend was well.”</p><p>“She was, it was good to see her again,” Rey smiled.</p><p>Armitage shifted upon his feet; his hands clasped behind his back.</p><p>“Well, it is good to have you back Miss Johnson, I’m sure your exhausted and need to rest after your travel.”</p><p>“That would be wonderful,” she replied with a breath sigh that got under Armitage’s skin, her lips parted.</p><p>“Excellent, well I will have some supper sent up to you.”</p><p>Rey curtsied. </p><p>“Thank you my Lord, you are most kind.”</p><p>She flashed him another smile and made her way to the stairs, feeling Armitage’s eyes follow her. </p><p>                                                                                                                 XXX</p><p>January grew dull and grey with a cold wind that seeped right through to the very core of you. Rey could just not seem to get warm in the great house, especially in the larger rooms, making her grateful that she spent most of her time in her room or the school room. Rey had been back from London a week when she awoke one morning to an eerie muffled sort of quiet. Climbing out of bed she quickly pulled on her woollen robe and opened the curtains to discover a thin gossamer layer of shimmering ice covering the inside of her window pane. Beyond that, the world had turned white overnight, snow transforming the world around them. The house and grounds were covered in a thick layer of fresh powdery snow making Rey smile at the winter’s beauty; everything looked brighter and cleaner. She had a feeling that someone else in the household would be extremely excited at the change in weather, Amelia. </p><p>After dressing in her thick navy woollen gown and wrapping a black knitted shawl around her shoulders, she headed along the wooden panelled gallery to the school room. Amelia was already in there, gazing out of the window, nose pressed against the panes leaving little smudges. </p><p>“Good morning Amelia.”</p><p>“Morning Miss Johnson.”</p><p>Amelia did not turn around but carried on looking through the window as the maid D’Acy bought in a tray containing their breakfast. </p><p>“Ah thank you, I’m starving.”</p><p>As if in confirmation, her stomach growled loudly.</p><p>“That is the cold miss, makes you hungry,” said D’Acy as she placed the tray down. </p><p>Rey sat at the table taking her food from the tray as D’Acy poured the tea. </p><p>“Come eat Amelia, else the food will grow cold.”</p><p>With a sigh, Amelia left the window and joined Rey at the table for the breakfast of porridge, honey, raisins and toast with cook’s best marmalade and tea.</p><p>“Do we have to have lessons today?” Amelia sulked, sighing dramatically. </p><p>Rey tried not to smile at her pupil’s facial expression and hid it behind her china cup. </p><p>“My mother employed me to school you, not let you run wild.”</p><p>“Oh, she doesn’t want anyone to have fun.”</p><p>“I am sure that your mother just wants the best for you.”</p><p>Amelia merely snorted in response and splashed porridge on to the table. Rey decided on a compromise that would please both of them.</p><p>“If you can get all of your arithmetic problems done that I’ve set you this morning, then this afternoon we will go outside.”</p><p>This seemed to have the positive effect on Amelia who whizzed through her school work. </p><p>“You do realise Amelia, that this shows me what you are capable of normally?”</p><p>“Don’t scold.”</p><p>“I do not scold; I merely do not want you to waste your potential.”</p><p>Amelia just shrugged, her expression reminding her of Kylo, she had that same vulnerable look. </p><p>“What difference does it make?”</p><p>Rey did not have an answer for that, for like most women it was unlikely that she would be valued for her intellect. </p><p>After a lunch of broth made from the previous day’s leftovers, Rey and Amelia wrapped up and headed outside. The air was crisp and icy and soon they had red tipped noses and flushed cheeks. The snow was soft and powdery and crunched satisfyingly underfoot as they walked outside the front of the house and along the driveway. Amelia began to build a snowman next to the driveway, stating that it was to welcome visitors before dressing it in her bonnet. Rey carried on walking along the driveway to keep warm, turning to look back at the house that had been transformed into a winter castle. For a second, she thought that she spied someone watching them from the drawing room window as the curtain twitched, but there was nobody there. Rey thought that it was most likely Lady Hux watching disapprovingly. She could not help but think that for someone who had so little to do with her own daughter she voiced a lot of opinions as regards to her welfare. </p><p>It was just then that something else caught her eye amidst the trees, a woman. She was petite, wearing a simple brown cape and watching Rey from the snow laden foliage. Amelia had not seemed to have noticed her and carried on with the construction of her snowman. Rey started to walk towards the woman, the soft snow crunching underneath her boots. The mysterious woman’s deep brown eyes widened in panic before she whirled around and disappeared into the trees, knocking the snow off the branches as she fled. </p><p>“Wait!”</p><p>Rey ran through the trees but could see nobody, the woman had gone.</p><p>“How peculiar.”</p><p>“Miss Johnson, what are you doing?”</p><p>Rey had not heard Amelia approach from behind her, so distracted was she. </p><p>“Did you see her?”</p><p>“See who?”</p><p>Amelia furrowed her brow in puzzlement looking at the trees that Rey was still staring at. </p><p>“There was a woman, she was watching us.”</p><p>Amelia looked at Rey with a confused expression. </p><p>“No.”</p><p>Rey looked into the trees; her face etched with worry. </p><p>“She was there.”</p><p>                                                                                                                 XXX</p><p>    That evening, after seeing that Amelia had gone to bed, she made her way back to her room, her feet dragging across the floor for she was too tired and achy. Holdo would have as usual, had her some supper sent to her room and the fire lit in readiness. The small, modest room had become her retreat and the favourite part of her day was the moment she could shut the door behind her. The stairs creaked beneath her feet as the cold wind howled outside causing a draft to force its way down the corridor. As Holdo was the usually the only other person that she would see in that corridor, she was surprised to see a pair of highly polished boots stretched out in front of her door. Boots that belonged to a long, pair of well-muscled legs, Kylo. She groaned inwardly; she had not realised that he had returned.</p><p>“Miss Johnson.”</p><p>Kylo scrambled to his feet, dusting off his black velvet jacket and straightening himself up. </p><p>“I was about to retire for the evening, is there a problem my Lord?”</p><p>She could not help but let the coldness and disgust that she felt at him permeate her voice, causing him to look uncertain. </p><p>“I…I needed to speak with you, have done for some time,” his voice was tinged with concern and his eyes ran over her in an almost desperate plead. </p><p>“Oh?” she snapped. “Well as I stated Sir, I am about to retire.”</p><p>“Forgive me but have I done something to offend you?”</p><p>Rey took a deep breath; she could not afford to give in to her anger for she could not afford to lose her position.</p><p>“Nothing at me directly Sir, unless you count your constant flirtations and kissing me against my will; but now I have discovered how you have grievously treated another. It offends me to my very soul and moral conscience.”</p><p>Her voice was tense and clipped as she held back her full feelings and anger. Kylo’s face went through a range of expression as he tried to process what she had said. </p><p>“Do you have the decency madam to tell me what it is that I have done to deserve such derision?”</p><p>His voice had gone from concern to barely concealing his anger, his countenance a scowl, his eyes pained. </p><p>“It is not my place,” she murmured though she knew that by this point that her argument was weak.</p><p>“We are beyond that,” he growled, his fists tightening. </p><p>“Very well,” she retorted. “Your brother told me all about what you did, to that poor girl.”</p><p>“Rose?”</p><p>“Well at least you remember her name.”</p><p>It was at this point that it seemed as though any anger winding up inside of him, dissipated, to be replaced with something else that Rey could not place. </p><p>“So, my brother told you everything did he?” his voice hard and low. </p><p>Rey nodded, her heart racing as the tension in the corridor became unbearable, the air gone leaving them in a vacuum.<br/>
“That was very noble of him,” he scoffed. </p><p>“I pushed him for an answer, he is not to blame. How dare you try to paint him with your standards.”</p><p>Her voice had risen more than she had intended it to. </p><p>“You do not wish to hear my explanation?”</p><p>“Nothing you could tell me could possibly change how I view you after what you’ve done. You’re a monster.”</p><p>“Yes I am.”</p><p>He took a step forward, their eyes linked, their stormy and conflicting emotions reflecting back to each other. </p><p>“I think we are done here madam, don’t you?”</p><p>His posture was ram rod straight, his expression a black cloud, thunderous and gloom ridden. She responded with a curt curtsey out of ingrained formality as he marched past her. </p><p>“Good night.”</p><p>After he had departed, she had leant against the wall in relief and a feeling she could not understand. Despite her exhaustion, she doubted that she would find sleep.</p><p> </p><p>                                                                                                                   XXX</p><p>Rey awoke to a grey murky world, the kind of dark, damp day that soaks through you and makes you feel miserable. Her first instinct was to roll back over and bury her head in the pillows and go back to sleep but Jenny the maid put an end to that notion. She bustled into the room carrying the coal bucket to light the fire. </p><p>“Sorry Miss, I’m a little late.”</p><p>Rey sat up with a groan as Jenny pulled back the heavy drapes and shivered at the chill in the room, pulling her woollen wrap around her shoulders, her head throbbing. </p><p>“Is Miss Amelia up Jenny?”</p><p>Jenny chuckled as she busied about the fire. </p><p>“No Miss, she’s dead to the world.”</p><p>“I will take my breakfast in the school room as usual Jenny.”</p><p>“Yes Miss.”</p><p>“Thank you Jenny.”</p><p>After the maid left, Rey continued to sit in bed for a few moments, not looking forward to the cold room not yet warmed by the lit hearth. However, she knew that the dread of facing Kylo again that day was another reason to procrastinate. </p><p>After washing and dressing, she headed to the school room where she found an extremely glum pupil. Amelia was sat at the table poking and moving the porridge around with her spoon, her face like thunder. </p><p>“Good morning.”</p><p>Amelia merely grunted in response and shrugged her shoulders.</p><p>“Whatever is the matter?”</p><p>Amelia threw down her spoon in frustration.</p><p>“Kylo has left!” she whined. </p><p>“Left?” </p><p>“Yes, gone back to London, said it was too dull here and needed some amusement.”</p><p>She felt relieved that he had gone.</p><p>“I am sure he did,” she mumbled under her breath sitting down next to her pupil. </p><p>Amusements in town; she could only imagine what that would mean for somebody like him. </p><p>“It’s mother’s fault, she drives him away,” Amelia grumbled. “He only just got back.”</p><p>Rey knew that it was not her place but she could not help but feel a tiny amount of guilt creep in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Fading Snow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey attempts to decipher her feelings as Kylo drowns his misery in London.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>February</p><p>The weeks passed and the snow began to fade as the early signs of spring began to show themselves as the land began to live once more. To Rey however, the clean brilliance of the snow had gone to leave a drab, muddy world behind, leaving her feeling despondent. Though it grieved her to admit it, in moments of weakness she found herself missing Kylo and his company. She would physically have to remind herself of the horrendous, callous nature of his actions. Through out it all Armitage remained a kind presence in her life and always took time out of his day to talk with her, taking her mind off the loneliness and monotony. He never overstepped the boundaries of propriety but she could not help feel as though his demeanour towards her was warm and intimate, more than it should be to someone of her position.<br/>
They walked along the pathway into the garden past the hot house one afternoon, while Amelia played nearby. Since he had spoken to her of his brother and Kylo had left, Armitage had seemed much more relaxed and at ease, especially with her. He looked down at Rey as she absently plucked a leaf from the hedge.</p><p>“Are you happy here Miss Johnson?”</p><p>She looked up in surprise at the question and at how Armitage was looking at her with his cool blue eyes, soft and searching. She felt that she could not answer straight away and he sensed her hesitation. </p><p>“Do not worry, I shall not take offence at your answer,” he reassured her. </p><p>They stopped walking for a moment as Rey deliberated over her answer. He rested his gloved hand gently upon her arm, his face full of concern, warmth and sincerity. </p><p>“You have been very kind to me my Lord, and I enjoy my time with Amelia…”</p><p>“You miss your old life and your father?”</p><p>Rey nodded in confirmation at what he said, the touch of his hand beginning to feel comforting and supportive, she felt herself slipping. </p><p>“Yes, and sometimes, sometimes I feel empty and alone,” her voice had dropped to soft and timid, embarrassed at what she was admitting. </p><p>“You do not have to be…Rey,” he whispered gently, taking her hand in both of his. “You must know how much you mean to me since you arrived here.”</p><p>The moment felt surreal but it was intoxicating to the point that she couldn’t pull away though she knew she should. His expression was full of an intensity that she had not expected. He seemed to draw even closer to her, closing the gap, his face merely inches away from her as her eyes drifted over his high cheekbones and blue eyes. </p><p>“Rey,” he spoke softly and leant in gently.</p><p>Their lips were about to touch, Rey’s breath held, when Amelia could be heard running towards them, laughing excitedly. Rey remembered herself and jumped away from Armitage, her face red and feelings confused in a foggy haze. </p><p>“Miss Johnson, come quick, the groom’s dog has had puppies! He said that we can see them,” Amelia proceeded to grab Rey’s hands, oblivious to the awkward atmosphere in the air. “Come on.”</p><p>Amelia grew impatient and practically began dragging Rey away. </p><p>“I must see you alone,” Armitage whispered urgently. </p><p>Rey shook her head and swiftly followed Amelia and away from danger. </p><p>    Lying in bed that night bought no rest to Rey as she went over what had transpired earlier that day in the garden. What had Armitage been thinking? He could not have been serious, someone in his position couldn’t be. Yet his behaviour and actions towards her ever since she had been here pointed to this being genuine. She examined her own feelings carefully, for her head made much more sense than her heart seemed to. She admitted that she was fond of him and enjoyed his company, grateful for the distraction. She knew however, that she was not in love with him, she had known as much when he had nearly kissed her. She could not help but compare the moment to when Kylo had stolen a kiss, wrongly so, but she remembered how the rest of the world had faded away into heat and the dark obsidian of his eyes. She wanted that again. She felt that any other woman would be in love with Armitage, that he was everything she should want; handsome, wealthy, kind, intelligent and generous. Yet, there was something he missed though she could not place her finger upon it. </p><p>Lost in her thoughts, she was startled by the sound of her door handle turning slowly with a juddering creak. The door did not open for she had locked it after promising Jyn to always do so after all of the horror stories she had heard of maids and footmen in grand houses. Rey never felt at risk or threatened, but still always locked her door out of habit. The person tried her door again, more insistently this time and could hear them push against the door with a grunt. Rey froze in her bed unable to move, her limbs cold and numb. She couldn’t bring herself to call out to the person. It would not be Holdo at this time of night but who else would it be? She lay still and quiet as her heart thudded within her chest, so much so that she could swear that the person outside would hear it. Their lamplight crept under the doorway and Rey could see the shadow shifting, as though the person was deciding what to do next. Evidently, they gave up as she heard a loud sigh as they left and their footsteps disappeared, fading away down the corridor, the lamplight gone. Rey could still not move, her heart still racing with adrenaline and fright. </p><p>The following morning, Rey decided to talk to Armitage about what had happened after she had asked Holdo if she had come to her room. Holdo had just looked puzzled and thought that maybe Rey had been dreaming. </p><p>“These big old creaky houses can feed our imagination,” she had commented lightly. “All those dark shadows, groaning winds and creaking walls.”</p><p>Rey knocked the library door quietly and found Armitage sitting at his desk writing his correspondence. </p><p>“Rey,” he smiled at the sight of her and noticed her worried demeanour immediately. “What is wrong?”</p><p>Her hands were clutched together nervously and she had dark circles surrounding her eyes, her skin paler than normal. </p><p>“I believe that someone tried to get into my room last night.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>He stood hastily, pushing his chair away from the desk, his face etched with worry and concern. </p><p>“You are not hurt?” he asked, rushing to her side, placing his hand on her shoulder. </p><p>“No, no. I am fine. Thank God my door was locked so whoever it was gave up.”</p><p>“Thank God indeed,” he responded, his face dark and angry. </p><p>“At first, I thought that it might be Holdo, but I asked her and it was not her. I don’t know who else it would have been.”</p><p>Armitage placed both of his hands on her arms tightly and looked down on her reassuringly. </p><p>“Dearest Rey, I will find out who it was, you have no reason to be afraid.”</p><p>“Thank you, I was not sure who to go to.”</p><p>“Always come to me Rey, should you need anything.”</p><p>She nodded and was about to leave when he leant forward and kissed her gently on the forehead; it seemed as though his hands gripped slightly tighter. </p><p>“Always make sure you lock your door in the meantime, okay Rey,” his tone earnest. “I could not bear it if you were hurt here under my protection.”</p><p>Rey thanked him again, pulling away from him as she excused herself. She was already late for the school room but in truth it had made her uncomfortable with how he spoke to her, and kissing her forehead. It was far too intimate as though they had an understanding, when she had given him no reason to think so, had she? Had her acceptance of his friendship been a signal to him, a signal that his advances would be welcome? Could he be in love with her, despite her lowly position? She knew that cared for him, but how far would that go? </p><p>A few days of worry and sleepless nights had passed when he spoke to her of the incident again where he was all smiles and reassurance. </p><p>“You need not fret anymore Miss Johnson; the mystery has been solved.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Yes, I made some enquiries and it turns out that one of the housemaids had been drinking whiskey medicinally for a bad tooth. Seems the poor girl has been in quite a bit of pain,” he explained, sitting next to her on the chaise lounge. </p><p>Rey felt even more puzzled and waited for him to explain. </p><p>“Well, it turns out that the night in question she drank a bit more than she should have and stumbled along to your room by mistake.”</p><p>He laughed at the absurdity of it.</p><p>“So, she was intoxicated?”</p><p>“Yes,” he chortled. “Poor girl was terrified and most upset when I questioned her. Terribly guilty at knowing that she had frightened you.”</p><p>“I hope that you were not too harsh with the girl?” Rey felt a little bad for the maid. </p><p>“Of course not,” Armitage retorted, a slight frown upon his face. “I have arranged for her to see a physician.”</p><p>“That was very kind of you,” said Rey, touched at his consideration as she placed her hand upon his arm. </p><p>“Of course, think nothing of it. Now at least you will not need to worry about your door, there was never any threat,” he squeezed her hand quickly. “Now I must see Canady about something, please excuse me.”</p><p>Rey put her book down as he left, feeling grateful for his assistance though something at the back of her mind was not as reassured as it should have been. She could not work out why she still felt unsettled despite Armitage’s soothing words. She could understand the maid coming to her room by mistake if they resided in the same corridor or even the same part of the house, but they were nowhere nearby. Something did not add up. </p><p> </p><p>Xxxx</p><p> </p><p>Kylo swigged the brandy that had been placed before him by his drinking companions, losing count of how many he’d drunk. All night Vicrul, the only son of a Lord, and Cardo, the son of a Baronet, who was something of a fop, had been trying to lift his spirits. Their actions were not entirely selfless as Kylo’s mood was bringing theirs down and that was simply not on. Currently in White’s of St James’s his companions were practically throwing their money away at the throw of a dice but seemed unperturbed. Kylo was not in the mood to gamble and merely watched, hoping that it would provide some distraction for that was why he was in London once more, distraction. He wanted to rid Miss Johnson from his mind, erase her effect upon him. He had been residing in his rooms upon Chamber Street, a fashionable set of apartments for the well-bred bachelor. Meeting up with his friends of old he had hoped for some fun but had failed so far to get Miss Johnson, Rey from his mind. He had never cared before what people had thought of him and his somewhat surly and insensitive attitude had so far held him in good stead. So why now was he concerned about Rey and what she thought of him, why her, why now? His previous pastimes and diversions did not seem to hold the same joy for him, they felt empty. </p><p>“Armitage old chap, this really is not on,” Cardo commented, smoothing his elegant green velvet overcoat for he really hated it when it crinkled. </p><p>Kylo sighed, putting his empty glass down, gesturing to the waiter for another. </p><p>“He’s right you know,” Vicrul chimed in as he took another draw on his cigar. “I haven’t seen you this miserable since you were besotted with that girl…what was her name again?”</p><p>“Kira!” cried out Cardo in remembrance, laughing.</p><p>“Yes, that was it,” Vicrul chuckled. “God you were miserable then.”<br/>
Kylo frowned at the name, shadows of the past mocking him, reminding him of the pain they had left behind. Her words echoed around him.</p><p>“Is that what all this about, some girl?”</p><p>Kylo did not reply but scowled at them in response for which they took as confirmation. The Kira they referred to had been a young woman he had met when he was just eighteen years old. She’s arrived into town, beautiful and alluring, a wealthy heiress, or so she had led him to believe. He had imagined herself in love with her, had offered her his heart, his soul, everything. She had laughed in his face, her cruel words cutting through him. He had been beyond heartbroken at the time, in they way only the very young and very inexperienced can be. As he thought of Kira for the first time in years, he pondered whether his infatuation with Rey was just that, an infatuation. </p><p>“We’ve got just the cure for you,” said Vicrul looking slyly at Cardo with a smirk.</p><p>Kylo noticed the look pass between them but shrugged and carried on drinking, hoping the hazy fog would take over.  </p><p>Several drinks and a carriage ride later, Kylo found himself outside of the notorious White House in Soho Square, an insalubrious yet unassuming looking square building nestled between homes of some of the most respected homes of London society. It had always seemed to Kylo’s mind, a symbol of society’s hypocrisy and duplicity. He was also aware that the place had a reputation for some of the most beautiful and exotic Cyprians in town and that no desire or fantasy would go unfulfilled here. He was no innocent and had visited some of the high-class bordellos as a youth, at first to blot Kira from his mind, but now he was not so sure. His friends dragged him from the carriage, his legs feeling somewhat unsteady from the drink as the cold, damp air hit his face. Before he could blink, he was inside the opulent establishment, the sound of laughing and debauchery heard from behind closed doors. Kylo’s head felt woollen and out of focus, barely registering the Madame’s welcome when Vicrul and Cardo pushed him forward.</p><p>“Our friend is nursing a broken heart Aurra,” they cried in mock tones of anguish. </p><p>“Ah say no more Sir, I have just the thing for you.”</p><p>With that she led him away, Kylo blindly following her. His head was spinning to the point where he could not think clearly. He wanted to go home but the room was warm and perfumed adding to his nausea. </p><p>“Lord Hux is it not?” Aurra Sing asked as she guided him to a door on the upper level.</p><p>He nodded, holding on to the door frame, trying to convince himself that there was only one statuesque, willowy woman in front of him. </p><p>“Please give your brother the Earl our regards, we have not had the pleasure of his company for a few months now,” she chattered. “Do let him know we hope to see him again soon.”</p><p>Kylo vaguely registered what she had said, the words floating around him in a drunken mist. He felt as though he should react to them but he didn’t know how or why. Something was not right. Aurra opened the door and gently nudged him inside. </p><p>“The Gold Room for you Sir,” she announced grandly. </p><p>She curtsied and shut the door behind him with a click. He found himself in a spacious, richly decorated room with an immense amount of gold and gilding, down to the curtains and drapes which were currently drawn shut. The air was heavy with perfume, exotic spices and oils. He placed his hands on the back of a chair to steady himself and inwardly scolded himself for drinking so much. It was then that he noticed the giant four poster bed at the other side of the room, draped in tasselled silks sparkling and shimmering with gold thread. On the bed was draped a woman who smiled languidly up at him when he looked at her. </p><p>“Oh dear,” he mumbled.</p><p>She gracefully slid off the bed, dressed in nothing but a diaphanous robe that was open to reveal her luscious creamy curves. Rosy pink nipples peeked through the lace and his eyes were drawn down to the apex at her thighs. The woman had the kind of body that someone like him could worship, every inch of her silky skin. Her light blonde hair tumbled down over her shoulders as she slowly walked over to him, slowly but with purpose. He knew that she should not have come. </p><p> </p><p>XXXX</p><p> </p><p>February ran into March and each day seemed to pass much as the last one had. As February came to a close, the Earl and his mother moved to town for the rest of the season, leaving Rey and her pupil alone at Arkanis. While she did not miss Lady Hux’s cold presence in the house, the absence of Armitage and Kylo had made a marked difference, despite her anger and disgust at one of them. The season ran until the summer when it would become too hot and uncomfortable in the city so most retreated back to their country abodes, declaring the city fetid and unhealthy. Lady Hux had made it a habit to mention often how Armitage was likely to come back engaged with an excellent match anytime she had callers, especially when Rey was in her presence. So, they would be playing the marriage market; it was to be expected thought Rey, though she was unsure as to how that made her feel. She remembered the excitement of each season starting, the new wardrobe she would order and the gossip with her friends. All of that was behind her now and she could only observe from afar. She did not miss every aspect, the constant rivalry for the eligible bachelors, the snide comments and dirty looks that could be cast upon you. She had been lucky however, in as much as her father had never placed any pressure on her to marry, he had wanted her to have what he had found with her mother. </p><p>‘Dearest Jyn,</p><p>It seems an age since I were with you last, though in truth it has only been a couple of months.<br/>
Everything carries on here much the same though it feels very quiet now that the family have gone to town. I have to admit, I do sometimes feel somewhat lonely and do not really have anyone to talk to. As delightful a companion as Amelia is, one does need more grown-up company. </p><p>I find myself wondering at my life and the unexpected turns it has taken and wander if this is my life now. One never knows does one? Anyway, enough of my maudlin mood, how are your wedding preparations going? Have you been to Madame De La Mays for your trousseau? I can imagine how delighted your mother must be…’</p><p> </p><p>XXXX</p><p> </p><p>Kylo entered the Assembly Rooms with Cardo, a look of resignation upon his face. He had not wished to go, but to ignore another social invitation from Lady Mothma would have felt like a snub and he would never have heard the end of it. As the two young men entered the room, he felt the eyes of many a debutante and their mother examine them discreetly, and some a little more obviously. He groaned, causing his friend to nudge him sharply in the side with his elbow, making him wince inwardly with a sigh. </p><p>“Ah Hux, Cardo, so good to see you.”</p><p>Their hostess glided across the wooden floor towards them, arms outstretched. She was a middle-aged woman of fabulous wealth, style and connections, part of the upper echelons of the ton. The woman was handsome and elegant and though not beautiful, something in her bearing and poise made her attractive and pleasing to look upon. </p><p>“Lady Mothma,” the two-gentleman bowed graciously in greeting, before she hooked her arms in theirs and walked them across the room. </p><p>“Kylo, where is your brother? I expected to see him this evening,” she asked, tapping him with her fan. </p><p>“Apologies my Lady, I do not know, but it is his loss, missing out on your marvellous company.”</p><p>She laughed at his flirtatious zone, and for a moment she was reminded of his father. </p><p>“Oh Kylo, you never change.”</p><p>“I would hate to disappoint,” he joked, though for a moment he thought he detected a look of sadness in her eyes. </p><p>The look was gone and she smiled, fixing a smile on her face and changing the subject.</p><p>“Now tell me, has anyone caught your eye or are you still doing everything to avoid matrimony?”</p><p>“Oh, plenty have caught my eye,” he responded drolly. “Though nothing to ensnare me.”</p><p>“Oh, you do disappoint,” she mock scolded him.</p><p>Just then a petite brunette walked past, beautiful and elegant, making him look briefly. His companion noted his look, reading more into it than there was.</p><p>“Ah yes Miss Jyn Erso, very beautiful girl.”<br/>
“Yes,” he agreed, though in truth he had not been paying that much attention. </p><p>“She has just been snapped up by the Cassian Duke of Fest, much to the relief of her parents. She has a somewhat rebellious streak despite her demure appearance.”</p><p>Suddenly his attention was caught. </p><p>“Wait, what did you say her name was?”</p><p>“Jyn, Jyn Erso; forget it Kylo, she is betrothed and from what I hear, the Duke is besotted.”</p><p>“I must speak with her,” he replied, looking to see where she had gone. </p><p>Lady Mothma looked up at his handsome features, puzzled.</p><p>“She cannot have made that much of an impression on you surely?”</p><p>“No, no,” his voice distracted. “It is just that we have a mutual acquaintance.”</p><p>He took his leave of the Matron and made his way over to Jyn, spying her on the far side of the room. </p><p>Jyn stood observing the dancing couples as she sipped her fruity punch, tapping her slippered feet to the music. She became aware of a tall figure standing to her left, tall and broad. They cleared their throat. </p><p>“Miss Erso?”</p><p>She turned to find an extremely handsome, no wickedly handsome man in her presence. He bowed before she curtsied politely in return, her curiosity peaked as she knew who he was. </p><p>“Mr Hux.”</p><p>“I must congratulate you on your recent engagement, or so I am told.”</p><p>“Thank you,” she smiled, wondering why he had sought her out after never doing so before. </p><p>“I trust you are enjoying the season?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you,” she paused briefly, before asking. “I trust that Rey was well when you saw her last?”</p><p>She observed a slight flicker of something across his expression though his demeanour was controlled and fixed in place. </p><p>“Yes, she was, thank you.”</p><p>“I miss her terribly.”</p><p>“You were very close?” he asked, studying her.</p><p>“Yes, inseparable since we were girls,” Jyn’s face reflected the happiness of her memories. </p><p>“I know that she misses you a great deal too,” he replied, his voice softening. </p><p>She examined his face, detecting a shadow of vulnerability there that he was failing miserably to hide. She remembered Rey’s violent reaction to him, comparing to how Kylo reacted to the mention of her name. Something was amiss, that much was clear. </p><p>“I wish that Rey would stay with me, but she’s so stubborn,” she couldn’t help but comment. </p><p>She caught his look and bit her tongue.</p><p>“Apologies, I do not mean to imply that your household is not a most comfortable place for her,” she tried to explain.</p><p>He held his hand up.</p><p>“You do not need to apologise Miss Erso, I understand, truly I do. She should be surrounded by friends and people that…care for her.”</p><p>“Indeed, everyone should.”</p><p>“We are not all as lucky Miss Erso.”</p><p>His face had become cold and glazed over with darkness, his eyes clouded over. She had heard of his reputation and wondered if Rey’s reaction to him was connected, but the man she saw here did not seem to match that narrative.</p><p>“Did she say anything to you during her stay?” he enquired. </p><p>As she decided as to what to say he seemed to read her answer across her expression instead. </p><p>“I see,” he whispered. “She really does think I’m a monster, doesn’t she?”</p><p>“Why would she think that?”</p><p>His eyes turned to her, full of sadness and regret.</p>
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